Beautiful Day
by ApocalypticBlonde
Summary: Mia Jackson has never been known to follow the rules too closely. Pedestrians and cars don't mix. Neither do vampires and wolves. Or so they say. Luckily for her, she encounters a family that doesn't quite follow the rules either. /I suck at summaries. Be prepared for lots of angst. Cross-posted./
1. Beaten and Blown by the Wind

A/N: Muse hit and I had to write. Not sure where I'm going with this, but enjoy!

* * *

When I stepped off that curb, I had no idea that my life was over. I was blissfully unaware of anything outside the realm of my own contentment. With my earbuds tucked firmly into my ears, blaring "Beautiful Day" by U2 directly into my eardrums, I touched down on the black asphalt like an airplane coming in for a landing. Above me, the clouds hung heavy and laden with moisture. The humidity pressed down on me, the air almost tangibly thick.

And then the world ended.

* * *

I blurred in and out of consciousness. The humid air was choking me, it was too hot and thick – no, was that blood? My chest felt heavy, immovable, as if someone had set a hundred pounds of bricks directly on my sternum. I couldn't move. My legs were… where were my legs? I strained to open my eyes to look.

"….can … hear me?!" someone asked hurriedly. A man. My eyes opened a slit but the light was too bright and my eyelids sank back down almost on their own.

"…where err m'legs…" I gurgled past the liquid in my throat. Hot, thick, salty. Definitely blood, I could taste it. "…can't find thm…"

"Oh God, Carlisle, her back must be broken." A female voice this time.

The male voice, tight with control, sounded from a few feet farther away. "Can you feel this?"

I blacked out again.

* * *

When I came to, I could feel something hard and cold poking my ribs. I moaned, as each sharp jab brought a wave of pain and nausea. I was starting to get cold.

"Can you hear me?" The man immediately stopped and leaned over my face. I opened my mouth to respond but couldn't make any sound come out. My eyes flew open in panic.

Golden eyes stared back down at me. I drank in their appearance, as everything else blurred around me. Was I crying? No, I was losing consciousness again.

"….can't….breathe…" I choked out, before sinking back into oblivion.

* * *

There was no time. Carlisle knew this as he stared at the broken girl beneath him. She could be no more than 20; a college student, surely. She had so much life left to live. And yet this cruel world had seen fit to throw a Jeep at her.

The driver of the vehicle had panicked. Carlisle had seen the look in his eyes as he sped away from the scene. Mentally, he jotted down the license plate numbers and model of the car. There would be time for justice later. No time for that now. A heavy breeze stirred through the oak trees along the residential lane, carrying the scent of petrichor and blood. Too much blood.

Still, he held back. What if this wasn't her choice? What if she hated him for this? Like Rosalie all those years ago – truth be told, she hadn't hated him for what he'd done to her, but she had hated herself. Carlisle couldn't live with himself if he sentenced another to all that torture. The girl would be cut off from her family forever. Her life, as it was, was well and truly done.

The subject of his thoughts approached him, bringing his overstocked medical supply bag from the trunk of his car, parked only a few feet away from where he kneeled by the girl's side.

"Carlisle, she's dying. You have to act now if you're going to." Rosalie set the bag down near the girl's head and placed a comforting hand on her adoptive father's shoulder.

"Is it her choice?" He wondered aloud, brokenly.

Rosalie knelt down to his level. His eyes never left the girl's face. She placed her other hand on his opposite shoulder, their bodies arching over the mangled body below them. His right hand rose almost of its own accord to meet hers on his shoulder. It was supposed to be a gesture of comfort, as was his norm, but right now he seemed to be taking comfort from her rather than offering it.

"If she doesn't want this, we can help her choose death." Carlisle's head jerked up toward her, startled. Rosalie gazed back at him, expression urgent and oddly determined. Help her choose death? Surely not… "Death or us. Those are her only options now."

"Even after all of your pain, you would have me make this decision for her?" he whispered.

Rosalie frowned slightly before nodding. "If we don't choose for her now, she will never have a choice of her own. Please, Carlisle."

Rosalie had rarely asked anything from him. Emmett was the only other she had begged him to change. Why this girl? Many had died in his hands before; he could have saved many patients. Why her? Where was Alice? He needed to know he was making the right decision.

He was waffling too long. Something changed in Rosalie's eyes. Without a moment's hesitation, her hands left his shoulders to rest on either side of the girl's head. She leaned down, hair making a golden curtain around the young one's face, and softly bit the side of her neck, carefully avoiding her already damaged throat. The girl's eyes flew open, then fluttered closed again, too weak to stay conscious.

Carlisle stared in shock. Rosalie tensed, her muscles spasming as she resisted the bloodlust, and he came back to himself.

"Well done Rosalie, come, let go." She shuddered, mouth still locked firmly in the girl's soft flesh. She wasn't drinking, though she was fighting the urge. Carlisle brushed his daughter's hair back from her face, and stroked her cheek. "Sweet girl, let go."

Rosalie gently let the girl go, then leapt back in a blur, across the road. "I can't do that again," she said tensely, holding her breath. Carlisle nodded, understanding. "I can." His training flooded back to him, and he busied himself over the young mortal with calm professionalism. He sunk his teeth into each wrist and ankle, hoping the extra venom would save her life that much more quickly. Once finished, he busied himself over stabilizing the girl's many injuries. Venom might heal – but she had to survive the process first.

As he carried out his work, he noticed the girl starting to tremble. The venom was starting to work – but he couldn't afford to let the girl thrash in her pain. Bella had caved one day and told the family that morphine wouldn't stop the pain of a transformation. He had been crushed to hear the truth. Still, he was grateful to know if would deaden a person's movements. The girl under his hands was so damaged already. Her spine was broken, and if she damaged herself further, she might not yet survive the transformation. He reached into his medical bag next to him and withdrew a syringe, which he carefully loaded with the drug before inserting it into the girl's arm and plunging the liquid into her bloodstream. She stilled almost immediately. He stared down at her, taking in the bandaged, delicate form below him, and prayed for her survival. It was all that he could do now. His shoulders slumped in defeat. Oh, how the years – the deaths – weighed heavy.

Rosalie had meandered back to the pair, and now stood only a few feet away, holding a silver rectangle up against her ear. She was speaking to Edward, directing him to their location. He and Seth were on their way to deliver an emergency stretcher from Carlisle's personal medical stash and help clean up the scene, while the rest of his family prepared their home's medical bay to receive the girl.

Carlisle heard the click of the phone call ending, and looked away from the human as Rosalie slid her phone back into her pocket. She looked back at him warmly and proudly. "You did it, Dad. It's all her now. Let's take her home." Rosalie's voice was uncommonly gentle as she coaxed her father back to his feet.

Carlisle nodded grimly, then stood. The girl was as stable as she could be, for the moment.

Edward's silver Volvo flew around the corner at that exact moment, and screeched to a stop opposite them, angled such that Carlisle's car and his car made a protective triangle around the girl lying on the pavement. As Edward leapt out of the car and hurriedly brought the stretcher to the doctor, flashes of Bella lying below Carlisle in the ballet studio flew across his mind, despite Carlisle's best efforts to suppress them. All the desperation and fear he had felt at the thought of losing another daughter came to life from deep in his memory. It had been years since the incident, but every once in a while, the memories would shake him. It wasn't just her either… the memories of finding Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward would never leave him either.

Edward heard, of course, and winced. These memories were hard for him too, despite the fact that Bella had long since transformed. He glanced up at his father, eyes sympathetic. Carlisle smiled wearily at him, attempting to reassure his son, though Edward knew too well how his children's well-being worried the patriarch.

All of this happened in only seconds. In another, sudden movement, Edward's eyes widened slightly and his head jerked toward Seth – Seth, who had only now stepped out of the passenger side of the vehicle. Seth looked shell-shocked at the broken body at Carlisle's feet, warm brown eyes wide in horror. Carlisle glanced between his son and the werewolf in confusion.

"Edward…?" he prompted.

Edward shook his head, seemingly at a loss for words. Grief weighted his next words.

"Seth just imprinted."


	2. Hear Their Heartbeat

A/N: I came THIS close to naming her Mia Thermopolis. You're welcome for that headcanon.

* * *

_tick, tick, tick, tick…_

A clock on the wall steadily beat out a rhythm. Time was passing so slowly, and yet too quickly, Seth mused as he stared forlornly at the small woman laid carefully and neatly on the stretcher in front of him. The wood paneled room surrounding him was out of focus as he drank in every detail of the woman who was the only woman who ever mattered, his only reason for being. Outside the large glass window wall, fir trees stirred in the moist breeze, as the overcast sky lit the scene with an ethereal, gray light.

_Why her?_ he wondered. What great power had decided to curse him so? The woman's heart stuttered in its fluttery, inconsistent beat, out of time with the clock, ticking away her life. They hadn't bothered with a heart monitor – all the current residents could hear its rhythm just fine. The room was absent of most medical devices – the transformation was her only medicine now.

Seth ground his teeth and leaned in closer, gently stroking her freckled face and arms and smoothing her mousy brown hair from her forehead. He knew she was in pain –but perhaps his touch could lend her some comfort. The morphine kept her quiet and still, but Seth knew as well as the others that the drug could not prevent the torture of the transformation. Seth knew she was in pain, and it killed him.

Not for the first time, he cursed his heritage. He'd been afraid of imprinting – and for good reason. It was only capable of inflicting misery. He'd had no choice in that moment. His free will had been stripped away, and the only thing left in its place was a deep, sheer need for this woman to live, and to live with and for him.

Her limbs were splayed out limply on the table, her doll-like form getting colder by the minute. He had so little time left with her. Who knew what would happen once she fully transformed into a… into a_ cold one_, he spat mentally. He loved the Cullens, but a part of him cringed every time he remembered what she would be. Blood would never pump through her veins again or warm her skin; she would lose her human fragility that made life so precious and valued. She would lose even her instincts, as they would be superseded by that of a predator. All because of a stupid, errant driver. The wolf in him growled in rage, and Seth quickly pulled his thoughts back from the precipice. It would do no good to become a murderer because of this, though part of him reveled in the thought of tearing out the throat of the motorist who had set this scene.

Soft footsteps approached from behind. Seth knew who approached before they passed the doorway. Carlisle. The patriarch's chilled hand rested comfortingly on Seth's shoulder, but Seth's eyes never left the transforming creature in front of him, his fingers never ceasing from their own comforting movements.

"She wouldn't have lived," Carlisle intoned tiredly. The vampires never slept, but exhaustion seemed to weigh down his voice.

Seth barely responded, a slight tensing in his shoulders his only action. He _knew _this. Why did they keep reminding him of it?

"I'm so sorry, Seth."

"Don't be sorry," he bit out, hating every word. Some small, dark part of him wanted Carlisle to be sorry. "You did the right thing." He paused. "It just sucks."

"Yeah… yeah it does." Carlisle hesitated before continuing. "It will take a couple more days. Why don't you take a break? I'll watch over her as long as you are gone." It was a kind offer, but Seth still stiffened in response. Leave her with _them_?! The ones who were destroying her humanity? It was a dark, cruel thought and Seth stifled it immediately, remembering the coven's kindness to him and his. He forced his shoulders to relax, though he couldn't entirely banish the tightness in his limbs.

"I'm not leaving her."

Carlisle nodded, sighing almost perceptibly. "Esme is cooking some dinner. I'll bring in a plate for you when she's done."

Seth nearly sighed in relief when the vampire left the room. Nothing could come between him and the woman at this moment. He felt cold as he looked over at her once more and shivered, as if he could feel the shadow of death himself. The wolf-man carefully listened to her increasingly frenetic heartbeat. It had been 18 hours. Only 54 more to go.

If she survived that long.

Seth studied her face. Angular cheekbones, a tiny nose, and slim lips framing a small mouth met to form a fairy-like visage. A light smattering of freckles patterned themselves across the bridge of her nose and under her eyes; her now bloodless skin was lightly browned, more so at the crest of her forehead. Clearly she spent some time under the sun. That was soon to change, he thought bitterly. Her petite frame made her seem smaller than her age, though her Oregon State ID said she was 21. Emilia, it called her. Emilia Jackson.

He rolled the name around on his tongue, in his mind. Somehow, it didn't quite seem to fit. Did she go by a shorter name? Emily, perhaps? Mia? Lia? Curiosity reigned in him, but the woman was too quiet, too unaware to respond should he have asked. So he settled with her full name. He leaned down, chin resting on his left forearm by her face as he continued to gently stroke the hair from her forehead with his right hand – a hand which almost dwarfed her face in its size.

"Emilia Jackson, you are not alone."

* * *

I burned.

White-hot plasma coursed through my veins. Each breath was an eternity in time; my heart tore through my chest almost as if it were trying to escape the scalding tongues of fire. But each beat sent the plasma soaring through my body from the crest of my head to the tips of my fingers and toes.

A sun was forming inside of me. My skin knew no fire, but inside, I was being crushed by gravity, burning hotter than any known temperature. The gravity was too much. I could feel my life being sucked away – I was a black hole. I had no control. Not even my limbs were responding.

Oh, how I wanted to scream.

There! Another eternity passed, and I could clench my fingertips. I dug my fingers into the pillowy surface below me, wishing for something harder to hold onto. This was not enough.

Then – another eternity passed and I could feel the feeling of control return to my toes. Those too, I clenched, as if the movement could help me escape the star turning me into ash.

And then, life returned to my limbs. I started twitching, desperately trying to run – as if that could help me escape this powerful conflagration.

It was then that I began to feel a soft touch – almost like there were butterflies landing on my face and arms and neck. Their touch soothed me – too briefly, but even so, it helped. The butterflies landed on my face, my eyelids, my neck, my arms. They tugged back my hair, and flitted across my scalp. Distracted and confused, I focused on them. No – they weren't butterflies – they were fingers.

Whoever it was, I could not tell. Any other time I would've told the hands to go away. But this – I needed this. These hands were gentle, strong, kind. I knew no danger from them. I held on, by a thread, and these made that thread stronger.

Of course, this made the star angry. It flared to life inside me, bringing a sickening wave of heat to my limbs, attacking in full force. I could feel the strength returning to my limbs, and my muscles clenched involuntarily in response. My legs jerked on the table and my arms began to twitch as the feeling of control grew. Still, my eyelids rested heavily on my eyes, my strength not enough yet to open them. My hearing returned.

"_Emilia Jackson, you are not alone,"_ a low voice sounded in my ear. Whoever the speaker was, was male. He had to be the one with the butterfly touch. The movements never stopped, soothing me even as my body trembled in its desperation to escape from the fire.

It wasn't enough._ Go away! _I wanted to scream. I could feel the star forming inside my chest expanding, traveling up my spine. It would consume anything in its path. The butterflies would die. I didn't want that to happen.

I opened my mouth to tell them to fly away – to tell _him_ to leave before he got burned. But the only sound I could make was one long note.

_aaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!_

* * *

It wasn't long before the screaming started.

It took him by surprise. All of a sudden, a sickening _crack!_ split the air as her spine snapped into place. Emilia's eyes flew open, hazel irises already tinged with flecks of burnt red. Her heart continued on its warpath, beating out a suicidal cadence.

_aaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!_

The shriek pierced his ears and he leaned in closer, ignoring the cold despair gripping his heart. Her shuddering torso lay only inches below him, and he could feel the vortex of cold chilling his skin. "Emilia… love… it's okay. You'll be okay. You're with friends." he urgently murmured to her, rushing to calm her, as if to smooth away the pain with his hands. He lightly gripped both sides of her face, brushing her temples with his thumbs, as he leaned over her upper body.

The screams continued no matter what he did, and vibrations ran up and down her body as if she were continually being electrocuted. "Shhh, shhh…" he urged brokenly. "Shhh, you're okay. You'll be okay. I'm here."

A group gathered around the doorway. Seth quickly glanced up as they assembled, catching Carlisle's eyes from where he stood right behind Esme and Jasper. Behind the trio stood a handful of the others, but Seth couldn't make himself care about anyone other than the blond doctor. "Can't you do anything?" he pleaded.

Carlisle closed his eyes slowly and bowed his head as if in prayer before looking up. "I can't do anything more, " he murmured apologetically. "The venom is doing its work. I am encouraged she survived thus far. It bodes well," he urged.

Seth growled in frustration before turning his gaze back to the screaming woman. Her limbs were twitching and shoulders shaking against the table, but she clearly had not yet regained full control of her body. He tried to soothe her further, hands hovering as he tried to figure out how to calm her.

A blur of wind stirred against his bare chest and he looked up, seeing Bella appear across from him at the head of the stretcher. Not a hair seemed out of place on her head. She looked over at him sympathetically, then gazed down lovingly at the shrieking girl lying before them. "I could hear everything," she murmured to Seth, below the hearing range of a human but loud enough for everyone else to hear. "Edward's voice was my sole comfort." Bella looked up, eyes distant with memory but gaze locked onto that of her mate's as if drawing strength from him even now. "She will need you. Keep talking to her."

Seth nodded to her in thanks and returned his gaze to Emilia. His hands settled on her face and shoulders, resuming their comforting movements. The others filed out slowly, but Bella remained, watching over the pair. "Shhh…" Seth whispered. "I've got you."


	3. And So She Woke Up

I convulsed one last time on the table as my heart shuddered to a stop.

It was over.

The last hints of the flames had settled in my throat, like an ember. The heat felt nearly bearable, compared to before. I hardly dared open my eyes for fear the burning would begin anew. But I didn't need to open my eyes. Nearby, I could hear… everything.

Fabric brushed gently across a wooden floor - curtains stirred by a breeze entering through an open window? I was almost sure of it. A bird perched in a nearby tree took off, and I could hear the soft _thwap_ of its wings as it became airborne. The wooden structure surrounding me – the word _house_ came to mind – creaked ever so quietly in the moist air. I could hear hushed breaths of at least eleven other individuals. Three had heartbeats. Eight stood close around me. No, nine – one of the ones with a heartbeat was near. I was overwhelmed.

This didn't feel natural. I didn't like it. Knowing I had an audience didn't help either.

"Emilia… you're safe. You can open your eyes," a paternal-sounding voice rang out, clear and gentle. As much as I wished I were alone, eave me the audience didn't seem to be going anywhere. I slowly eased my eyes open and was instantly entranced by the wood grain on the opposite wall. It curved and ran like a river, eddying around small knots as if around boulders. The surface should have been smooth, but my eyes traced every groove and ridge in the grain as if I could feel it under my fingertips. My shoulders tensed in anxiety. This wasn't _normal_. Clearly it was a dream, right?

"…hey there, hey now…" the same male voice soothed. As soon as I thought of sitting up, I was vertical. I immediately turned my face to the sound.

Its source was a blonde man. His beauty staggered me; I could barely breathe, for admiration. For some reason, though, my inability to take in a breath didn't bother me.

The _wrong_ feeling in me grew, something tense and dark like a snake coiled around my ribcage.

The man held out an arm in a placating gesture, which vaguely irritated me. I didn't need his condescension. Who was he anyway?

More importantly, why was I in this strange room, surrounded by strange people?

"What's going on? Where am I?" a dulcet voice rang out. It took me a moment to realize I had voiced my thoughts – and then another moment when I realized that voice was mine. My hand flew to my throat, my eyes widening in surprise. "What's going on?" I repeated, pushing my anxiety over the newfound voice to the back of my mind. The snake coiled tighter around me.

The blond man's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled gently in response, but wariness lingered behind them. Perhaps it wasn't condescension after all. I could tell, now that I was looking right at him, that he was worried how I would react. It was ever so evident from the way his eyes met mine. Despite his caution, he stepped closer, arm still held out as if to comfort me – or perhaps to hold me back from someone were I to attack him.

"I'm sorry, I know it's confusing. Let's take this one step at a time, shall we? What's the last thing you remember?"

I leaned back, not liking how close he was getting. As beautiful as he was, I felt wary around him, almost… competitive? My gaze darted around the room, taking in my audience. The rest of them were just as beautiful as the first man; I filed that fact away for later analysis. Behind the blond man stood a shorter woman. Her dark brown hair fell in waves beyond her shoulders, and she smiled warmly at me. Her gaze held only compassion. Standing protectively and almost in front of this woman was a hulking, jock-like male, a baseball cap sitting sideways on top of his head. I was tempted to tell him he looked stupid wearing his hat like that, but that fleeting thought was rapidly replaced with defensiveness as I took in the way he leaned toward me – threatening me. I bit my tongue. At the jock's side was a gorgeous woman, whose voluptuous curves and perfect blond curls reminded me of airbrushed models in fashion magazines. On the other side of the brown-haired woman stood another brown-haired woman, whose eyes held understanding and a pang of sadness; a skinny, reddish-blonde dude stood behind her, who held her in a protective embrace. He couldn't be more than 17? 18? At their side stood some equally young-looking people; a woman with spiky, short hair stood almost on the tips of her toes, as if she were about to take flight. And beside her?

I hissed and leapt back.

_Did I really just hiss? _I thought distractedly from my new position in the corner of the room near the floor-to-ceiling window. My eyes never left the man who was covered in silvery, half-moon marks._ What?!_ I couldn't understand why I suddenly felt threatened, but all I knew was that the man's presence screamed _danger!_ at me.

The first blonde man stepped forward again, toward my crouched form, hands held out palm upward, as if to signal his innocence. "It's okay…" he urged. "None of us intend you any harm."

"Do you _see _that guy?" my scathing comment escaped my lips before I could take it back. More than likely, the first blond guy was in league with the scarred one. I probably just royally screwed myself over. I needed to get out of here.

Without a second's hesitation, I leapt out the open window.

_Whoops!_ – that window wasn't open. The sound of shattering glass filled my ears and the sounds of the surrounding forest paused, before picking up their beat again. I couldn't make myself care, as I was already on my way, whipping past and around trees at every turn, leaping across rivers and…

_Leaping across rivers?!_ That absolutely wasn't right. I wanted to guess this was a dream but before I could even consider it I was rejecting the thought. I crouched in the middle of a clearing, hysteria touching my mind as I tensed in anticipation of danger. I felt strong, capable, prepared – more so than I ever had before. Something was wrong – something was off, was different.

"Emilia." A musical, female voice sounded out and I tensed again, leaping back to the cover of the trees – too quickly, how could I have moved that fast? My hands dug into the bark of the nearby oak.

The beautiful blonde woman stood in front of me in the middle of the clearing, her eyes never leaving mine. "Stop running," she commanded, irritation tinging her voice. Somehow, I felt compelled to listen. The light glistened on her blonde hair and I was drawn in. Had I met her before? I stopped moving, curiosity overtaking me, though I never relaxed. I was prepared – I would leap through the trees, if it became necessary, to make her lose my trail.

_What?!_ Leap through trees? Who was I, _Spider-Man?!_

"None of us want to hurt you," she continued. "You're safe with us."

I wanted to ask, "how can I trust you?" and "I don't know you" but all that came out was "What the HELL is going on."

"Why don't you come back to the house and we'll explain it to you?" the woman urged.

"You're kidding me, right?" I fired back. Like hell I was going back to face that… that _army_.

"Okay," she paused. "It's okay. You don't have to. I get how confusing this is."

"Then TELL me what's GOING ON!" I screeched. I stepped out from behind the tree. I knew she already knew where I was. I still left plenty of distance should I decide I needed to escape again.

The blond woman's amber eyes lighted on mine and held firm. "Get settled" she said. "It's a long story."

* * *

I laughed at her face at first.

Vampires? She had to be kidding me. Not Spider-Man, but a freaking _vampire_.

The unbridled irritation and honesty in her expression made me pause, though. I slowly looked her over, then glanced down at my hands. They were pale, smooth, strong. Gone were any blemishes that I could remember; the scars on my left finger from pinching my hand in a folding chair were gone. I touched my forehead, and the skin there was just as smooth, erasing any evidence of my high school acne problems. My weak ankle – the one I had sprained at _least_ five times – was strong and supple. Inwardly, I couldn't deny that something unnatural – something _supernatural_ – had happened to me.

I wanted to run again. So I did.

I took off, the woman – Rosalie, I remembered – calling my name, calling me to come back. She had changed me, a supposed _rescue_. I didn't have time to think about that, I only had the energy, the focus, to run. It was all too much, really. Not even my body was a sufficient anchor in the face of this tidal wave of information. It was part of that wave – all foreign, encompassing, terrifying.

I was _terrified_.

What was going to happen now? I thought frantically as I tore through the forest around me. It was dusk now, an hour having passed since I woke, and the smell of rain permeated the thick, rich soil of the forest surrounding me. Jays called to each other in alarm as I passed, their screeching hurting my ears. Other creatures took flight as I passed, my bare feet barely touching the earth.

I was surprised Rosalie hadn't chased me down. I supposed that she might try to head me off, try to corral me back toward the house. Wasn't I their prisoner? Hadn't they been the ones to make me into this bizarre creature? I was surprised they didn't want to control my every movement and briefly wondered why they were letting me go off on my own. No matter. I wanted to get as far away from here as possible.

I leapt over a river and touched down on the opposite bank…

…and was promptly body slammed into the ground. I shrieked in alarm and protest, instinctually throwing my hands up to protect myself and push away my attacker. I had more force than I realized, however, and my movements threw the large furry mass off of me, into a nearby tree. The wood shuddered at the impact. I immediately knelt into a protective crouch and bared my teeth at the creature.

It was a wolf, I saw now. A _gigantic_ one, standing at easily one and a half times a man's height. Its sandy fur blended with the earthy tones of the forest, and I couldn't help but feel I must be trespassing somehow in its natural environment. Great big brown eyes whipped around to stare at me, and its lips pulled back in a snarl, baring teeth the length of my pinky finger and appearing sharp enough to tear me to shreds. A low, menacing rumble sounded deep in its throat, making me cringe in place.

I was so very tempted to run again, but I held my position. What did they say about wild animals in the forest? Don't run, make yourself look bigger than you are, make lots of intimidating noises.

I wasn't sure how to make myself look bigger, but I leaned forward, a snarl ripping from my throat as easily as it did from the creature's.

Which is exactly the moment when the others broke through the line of trees and into our sight. It was Rosalie, the blonde male who had woken me (Carlisle, I think she had called him) and the bronze-haired skinny male. They stood on the opposite bank of the river, where they froze in place.

"Seth, don't!" the bronze-haired one called out, alarmed. My eyebrows leapt to my hairline. Was this wolf their pet? Who the hell had a pet wolf, let alone a freakishly giant one? The wolf's gaze never left my own, but its lips pulled even farther back at the reddish haired one's comment.

The guy couldn't keep quiet. "Leave her be, Seth. Let her cross back over. She didn't mean to trespass. She's not even under the treaty."

Treaty? What treaty?

The wolf – Seth, I told myself – whipped his head around to snarl at the reddish-haired one.

"I know, Seth. We technically broke it too by changing her. Please let's talk about this more calmly."

Was this guy having a _conversation_ with the beast? My day was getting weirder and weirder.

"Emilia… please come to our side of the river." I cocked my head toward Carlisle, but my gaze never left the wolf, and I remained frozen in place. "Please," he called again. "Let's talk about this."

"I don't want to be anywhere NEAR you," I hissed.

"You aren't aware of this, but you're in violation of a treaty we have in place with the wolves. This is Seth. He's just protecting his territory." The reddish-haired one spoke carefully. My gaze leapt to him in astonishment. A treaty with _wolves_? "And you can call me Edward," he said. "We'll explain everything if you come back with us."

What, did he read minds too?

"Yes," he answered, leveling me with a cool gaze.

I tensed even more, toes digging into the soft earth, muscles coiled to leap away again, feeling horribly violated. Apparently not even my mind was safe. This was so NOT normal, and I was so incredibly overwhelmed. Why was this happening? Why wouldn't they just leave me alone?

"You're not alone, Emilia. We're here to help you," Edward said.

The words "you're not alone" rang in my head like a bell, and I was taken back to the fire, to the soft words spoken over me as I burned. Edward's voice was not the one I remembered – but somehow, I felt those words were meant just for me. Edward _knew_ what I had experienced. He knew how I held onto those words.

Was he manipulating me? Perhaps. But perhaps… perhaps he also had some answers for me. They had chased me to this river; clearly, they weren't letting me off the hook just yet. And I didn't particularly relish the thought of facing this wolf any longer. He looked ready to rip me to pieces.

"Fine," I bit out. I took a step toward the river, and the wolf snarled even louder, leaning forward as if he was about to launch toward me. I crouched back down into a defensive position, alarmed.

"Seth, please." Carlisle pleaded.

Edward spoke again too. "Let her go. She can't hurt you anymore."

The wolf's growl deepened, then died away into a whine. I was taken aback. What even? Edward made it sound like I had hurt Seth. I couldn't remember ever facing a giant wolf before. Before I could process this information, the wolf turned tail and fled into the underbrush, crashing away from us.

Carlisle heaved a sigh of relief, then reached an arm out toward me, palm up. An invitation. "Please come back with us. You're safe with us."

I hesitated. Should I? Or should I just follow my instincts and keep running? I glanced back at the broken underbrush left by the wolf's retreat. I didn't particularly like the idea of running into _Seth_ again. And so far, Rosalie's family had been true to their word. They hadn't hurt me – yet. Or even really threatened me.

"You have no reason to trust us yet – I realize that. But I promise you, we won't hurt you." Rosalie's face was just as fiercely honest as before.

Oddly, I felt myself trusting her. They were my best chance. And I did need more information.

"Okay," I said. And joined them on their side of the river.


	4. Cry Without Weeping

A/N: boots and cats and boots and cats and angst and fluff and angst and fluff

* * *

We ran. My thoughts flew through my mind almost as quickly as my feet carried my body. My head was full of stone cold people and giant, gnashing teeth. The past few hours had been a lesson in terror, but now that some time had passed I was beginning to believe they didn't actually mean me any harm. After all, wouldn't they have already destroyed me? Or they could've just let me die when I got squished by the car. No – they didn't want me dead. If they wanted me for some other nefarious reason I'd find out soon enough. Hopefully it would be in time for me to get away.

I was rapidly coming down off of the adrenaline rush – if one could even call it that, did vampires even produce adrenaline? – when the burning in my throat grew overwhelming. I'd been ignoring it, too preoccupied with my surroundings. But now… now I was uncomfortable. _Very_ uncomfortable. Painfully so.

Ahead of me, Edward skidded to a stop. I followed suit, as did the others. Edward turned around to face us, and his gaze landed on mine. "You need to hunt," he said.

My eyes widened in realization and my hand flew up to my throat. Yes, _of course_. That's what that feeling was. Thirst. "Yeah," I agreed, uncomfortable. "Ummm… you hunt animals right? How do I do that?"

Rosalie took my unoccupied hand. "Come on. I'll show you. Carlisle, Edward – can you canvass the area? Make sure there aren't any humans around?"

Anger flooded through me. Vampire, I may be, but murderer I was not. My nostrils flared and I glared at Rosalie. "I would never!"

Rosalie matched my glare with one of her own. "You wouldn't be able to resist." I snorted halfheartedly, noting her cold expression. "When we hunt, we give ourselves over to our senses. You would lose all reason in the face of human blood."

I was damn thirsty, but I wasn't THAT thirsty. Or so I told myself.

Edward and Carlisle exchanged glances. "Don't go far," Carlisle instructed. "Ten square miles centering on this point should do it. I'd prefer that the rest of the wolves don't hear about our new family member too soon."

_Again_ with the wolves! When were they going to explain _that_ one to me? It would be all too stereotypical if werewolves also existed in this bizarre supernatural world I found myself in. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.

The men leapt away while Rosalie tugged me deeper into the forest. Now that night had well and truly fallen, the hushed notes of the forest had taken on a different timbre. The wind whispered through the trees, evergreen and deciduous alike, and brushed past me carrying a multitude of scents. Damp soil, rotting tree limbs, new vegetation, and thousands of unidentifiable aromas mixed with the sounds of a thousand movements of creatures both large and small. The forest had a heartbeat, I realized. In the next beat, I realized I didn't.

I didn't have time to mourn. The thirst had reached an all-time high, and I positively vibrated as Rosalie led me further in. As we passed, the wildlife around us paused. Even the wind seemed to die down a little as we passed – or maybe that was just my imagination.

Rosalie suddenly stopped. She glanced back, motioning me forward. Tentatively, I eased forward to stand beside her. The wind, previously at our backs, shifted, carrying another scent with it. It smelled warm, earthy, and… delicious.

A keening, inhuman note wormed its way out of my throat and in a flash I leapt forward. Nothing would keep me from that warmth. I was so cold – I needed the warmth.

I snapped, I broke, I ripped.

And suddenly I was gratefully swallowing the warmth, greedily taking it all. One, then another.

It didn't taste as good as it smelled. Another.

No, there was certainly something wrong with it. Another.

No, it was disgusting, slimy. I didn't care. I needed it.

Then there was no more, and I came back to myself.

I stood in the middle of a clearing. Above me, the clouds hung low and heavy, preventing any moonlight from showing through. It didn't matter. In the pitch black I could see just fine. Rosalie stood across from me in the shelter of the trees bordering the clearing, expressionless.

I glanced down at my feet.

The broken bodies of multiple elk lay around me in a ring of carnage. They were clumsily thrown to the side, their necks and bellies torn open and their black eyes blank. The ground was moist with their life's blood that I had spilled, that I had so casually wasted in my haste to satiate myself. My arms dripped with it, up to my forearms. My chest was sticky, and I realized it had sprayed all over me. Drips of it slowly meandered down my throat and between my breasts. It was a scene from a horror movie. I had done this. _I had done this._

"….no no no no" I found myself muttering, and I sank to my knees, hands clutching my head with my sticky hands, running them through my hair and bending over myself in grief.

Hands grasped my shoulders and hauled me to my feet before my knees hit the ground, even as I clutched at my head. "Now you understand," Rosalie said. Her face had lost its coldness. Now she only seemed tired.

She led me away from the grisly sight, and I walked alongside her in a haze until we reached a stream where I washed myself clean, or as clean as I was able. When I returned, my clothes were still stained, but my skin and hair were free of blood and gore. Rosalie stood waiting on the banks, impatient to get home.

"Did you drink enough?" she asked. I had the feeling she'd been waiting until I was a bit more emotionally stable to ask the question.

"I…I think so" I stammered. The fire in my throat had subsided to a manageable warmth, not unlike the scratchiness one might experience in the very beginning stages of a cold. "Does the burning ever go away?" I asked.

She shook her head, sighing. "Not completely. You'll be able to ignore it in time." I nodded in understanding. "Let's find the others," she said.

We wandered back in the direction of the house, taking our time now that my thirst wasn't so pressing. Before long, Edward and Carlisle melted out of the shadows to rejoin the group. We walked in silence, me occupied with my thoughts, and them with watching me. I couldn't care less. Each effortless step in the dark was another nail in the coffin of my humanity.

They let me grieve in silence.

All too soon, we reached the house. It shone like a beacon, and from a distance we could easily make out the figures moving inside of it. As we approached the back door, the porch light flicked on and the smaller woman from before stepped out. I had barely stepped on the bottom step when she was before me, arms wrapped around me in a hug. I stiffened in surprise, but then sagged against her, accepting the embrace, and clutched onto her for dear life. My shoulders shook in dry, wordless sobs and we sank to the stairs where I let her hold me. The others paused, but the woman jerked her head back to the door, indicating they should leave us alone. Carlisle hovered for a moment longer, but eventually followed her request.

"Shhh, shhh…" she shushed me, rocking us back and forth.

Eventually I pulled back, wiping at my eyes and looking down at them in surprise when they came away dry. My eyes burned like I had been crying, but no liquid came out of them. If even possible, my shoulders slumped even more and I turned away, not wanting to dissolve again in front of the kind woman. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"No need to apologize, love," she murmured, tucking a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. "We all know what you're going through."

I turned to look at her. "How?" I asked stupidly.

She smiled sadly. "You don't think we were always this way, do you?" she asked. Her butterscotch eyes were full of tenderness and I could hear no real note of rebuke in her words.

"…No," I replied. At least, now I didn't. I should have realized. Suddenly their kindness took on another note. If they had been as human as I, then surely – hopefully – they hadn't completely lost themselves to the monstrous side I had just seen in myself? Perhaps they really had been trying to help me when they turned me. How else could they have bitten me without draining me dry?

"Sorry," I said again, not knowing what to say. The woman only smiled and drew me back to her side. I leaned my head on her shoulder, feeling oddly safe in her arms. "And thanks."

"Of course, love," she murmured. "Alice said you needed a mom hug."

"Who's Alice?" I asked, raising my head to look at her. I belatedly realized that the more pertinent question would have been "how did Alice know."

"One of my daughters," the woman replied. "Rosalie's sister."

"So you're Rosalie's mom too?" Apparently my curiosity was making a comeback now that I was sufficiently comforted.

"Yes, and no," the woman replied with a tinkling laugh. "They're all, more or less, adopted. We all chose each other."

"They're all…" I murmured to myself, trying to picture everyone who had been in the room when I woke up. And then I remembered the shattered window.

"Umm… sorry about your window."

The woman laughed a bit louder now. "Quite understandable, really. Don't worry about it, love. We'll get it fixed."

"I'll pay for the damage," I offered. I had a bit saved up from working at the shaved ice truck over the summer. It would most likely be enough to pay for their window repair. If not, surely they could cover the rest. They had turned me into a vampire, after all. They should have to take some responsibility too.

"Don't be silly," the woman laughed. "Come on Emilia, let's go get you cleaned up."

"Umm… it's Mia," I told her. "I go by Mia." Only my mom called me by my full name. And as motherly as this woman was, I couldn't stand to hear my full name out of any other person's mouth. Not when I couldn't imagine ever seeing Mom again. Oh god.

The woman obviously could sense I was on the edge of crumbling again. "Hey now, it's going to be okay," she shushed, reaching out to me again and squeezing my shoulders. "Let's get you cleaned up and settled and then we'll talk, okay?" She paused. "It's nice to meet you, Mia. I'm Esme."

* * *

A/N: A belated disclaimer: Any and all Twilight creations are the sole property of Stephanie Meyer and I lay claim only to my own OCs and plotline. Likewise, any and all U2 lyrics are solely their own and I am only borrowing their lyrics because I am totally lame and can't think of good chapter titles so am resorting to overused clichés. At least I'm honest? This disclaimer applies to all past and future chapters.

My chapters are short in part because it takes me a while to write something I'm relatively satisfied with. Ideas and thoughts are welcomed and help me get around all the walls I hit in the middle of chapters, so please leave comments! I thrive off of input and your encouragement keeps me going. Thanks for reading!


	5. Five W's

A/N: Apologies for the delay! I got overly ambitious this Christmas season and decided to crochet afghans for all of my family members. BUT NOW it's January and I only have to finish two afghans I didn't finish in time for Christmas, so guess what that means? more writing!

This chapter may be mostly filler, but since Mia just got thrown into the deep end, we gotta learn her some vampire stuff. Everything is new to her and she needs a walk-me-through. Next few chapters should see some more character development as Mia gets to know the Cullens and... perhaps... a certain wolf...

Enjoy!

* * *

Esme walked me inside the house, her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I had been feeling so on edge all afternoon and evening, but her embrace felt so motherly it seemed to take the edge off my fear. We passed through their kitchen and through a doorway to the empty living room - both were airy and cozy, not at all the vampire haunt I expected. I could hear most everyone moving around upstairs, and was grateful for the illusion of privacy.

At the base of the stairs stood the chestnut-haired woman. Everything about her was gentle - her relaxed stance, small smile, and warm eyes radiated kindness. A part of me wondered why I'd felt so threatened before.

"Hi Mia," the chestnut-haired woman said. Her voice pealed like bells. I smiled tightly in acknowledgement. "I'm Bella."

Esme released my shoulders and I stepped forward to shake hands with Bella. "Hi... I guess you already know my name." I must have gripped her hand a little too tightly, because a wince passed over her features in a flash. "Gah, I'm sorry," I said, retracting my hand immediately.

Bella only smiled wider at me. "It's all good. It's hard to know your strength as a newborn."

A newborn. The terminology felt very fitting.

Bella continued. "You're the strongest you'll ever be right now, and it may take some time for you to adjust. Don't worry if it doesn't come naturally." I only nodded. The feeling of bones crushing beneath my hands came back to me in a flash and I shuddered, pushing the memory away. I didn't miss the glance Bella shared with Esme, but chose to ignore it. I didn't want a repeat of my episode on the porch.

Bella beckoned me to follow her. "Come on. You can use Edward's and my room to wash up." I followed her up two flights of stairs to the third floor, and around to the south side of the house where we entered into a large, bright space. This room, like the one in which I had awoken, had a large window wall with only gauzy curtains blocking the view. A large four-poster bed dominated the room, with a large collection of music records and books occupying shelves on the opposite wall. The room was full of pleasant neutrals and greens, complimenting the forest views.

Bella took me to the left where we entered a large bathroom, decorated in the same neutrals and greens as their room, and tiled in fresh, white subway tile. "There's fresh clothes for you here - you're about the same size as my sister Alice, so I borrowed some of hers."

"Thank you," I accepted gratefully. "You're sure she won't mind?"

Bella let out a short laugh. "Believe me," she said, grinning over her shoulder at me as she turned on the shower faucet, "she won't mind one bit." I smiled an easier smile at her at this small bit of information. I was beginning to like this Alice, and I hadn't even met her yet.

Having established the hot water was running, Bella turned back to the doorway where I was still awkwardly standing. "Towels are on the shelf, and toiletries in the shower and the vanity. Feel free to help yourself to anything you need." I nodded, feeling oddly shy now, and stepped in the room. Bella slid by me with yet another smile and closed the door behind her.

The clothes had been folded neatly and rested on the counter. I studiously avoided my appearance in the mirror as I examined the clothes left for me - a rosy pink sweatshirt and light grey joggers. They seemed perfectly comfortable, if expensive. Bella had even found soft gray underwear and a sports bra that looked like they'd fit me just right. I found myself anxious to get properly clean and didn't waste any more time disrobing and stepping into the shower.

The water was hot, but not too hot, and as it washed over me it soothed my tense muscles. I picked up a scrub brush and attacked every hint of grime left from the forest floor and my hunt with a vengeance. There were all manner of shower gels and body washes, and before long I was stepping out onto the shower mat clean and smelling like strawberries.

It felt like luxury.

Only now did I allow myself that look in the mirror. The image I saw stunned me into stillness. It wasn't the lithe creature that stepped past the shower curtain, nor the dim way the creature's flawless skin glowed. It wasn't the dark circles under her eyes, or the way her wet brown hair clung to the sides of her statuesque neck and unfreckled cheeks.

It was the eyes.

Red. It seemed the stuff of fiction, far too brilliant and unnatural for real life. I tentatively reached a hand - oddly steady considering the turmoil I felt inside - up to my temple, wondering if I was really seeing what I was seeing.

Rosalie's brutally honest words came back to me. "Your body has been transformed. You aren't human anymore, and things are going to be different."

Despite the alienness of my image - she was far more beautiful than I had ever been, and she was all too inhuman - I took comfort in Rosalie's honesty, and drew my own conclusions. My body was changed... but I was not.

It was time to face the music.

I quickly donned the clothes and reached toward the doorknob. Before I could open it, a knock sounded at the door before the latch clicked and it swung open. Bella poked her head through the opening.

"You good?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "What's next?"

Bella swung the door wider to admit me and I followed her back to the bedroom. "Why don't we have a family meeting? Introduce everyone? And you can ask anything that's on your mind." I nodded in acquiescence and followed her back down the stairs to the living room.

I already knew the rest of the household was gathered downstairs - the instant Bella had mentioned the words "family meeting", I had heard them stop what they were doing and move to the living room - but it didn't prepare me for seeing them all together again. They were all seated, Carlisle and Esme together on a creamy white loveseat, and Bella moved forward to join Edward on the matching sofa. Rosalie sat on the other end of the sofa, the large guy leaning up against her legs in a relaxed position while she played with his hair. The one woman I hadn't met yet - she had to be Alice - was perched on the arm of an overstuffed armchair, in which the blonde, scarred one sat. All wore pleasant, open expressions, except for the scarred one. His was unreadable.

Despite their apparently easygoing positions, I knew instinctually that they could be up and at my throat in less time than it would take for me to say "Hi". They were a veritable army and I fought the urge to flee again. I halted at the edge of the circle, feeling claustrophobic.

Alice made meaningful eye contact with the scarred one, and he sighed and nodded. Suddenly he fixed me with a steady gaze, and I felt the fear slip away and peace take its place. My shoulders relaxed and I frowned, confused, but I wasn't bothered enough to ask about it.

"Easy does it, Jasper," Edward said, leaning forward with elbows on his knees. Bella's hand rested lovingly between his shoulder blades, her thumb moving back and forth over his shirt. She cast me a warm, encouraging smile. "We don't want her to think we're manipulating her."

"We _are_ manipulating her," Rosalie said. Edward frowned at her.

"For good reason," Carlisle said placatingly. "We don't want you to feel alarmed," he said, addressing me once more. "We mean you no harm."

I found myself believing him, despite my confusion, and nodded. The peacefulness felt... nice. It was a nice break after the events of the day. Actually, the events of the week.

"Since we're here, let's make some introductions," Carlisle continued. "This is my son Emmett," he said, gesturing at the large one, who grinned and gave me a small wave. "And across from me is my son, Jasper and my daughter, Alice." Alice flashed me a dazzling smile, and Jasper, who I now knew was the scarred one, nodded in my direction. "I think you've met everyone else. What do we call you?" Carlisle asked.

It was purely a show of formality - they'd all overheard me speaking with Esme, I knew - but all the same, I appreciated the chance to introduce myself in person. "My name is Emilia, but call me Mia," I said softly.

Carlisle smiled at me and nodded. "Welcome, Mia." I smiled a small smile in return and, still feeling relaxed for whatever reason, wandered forward to settle cross-legged on the plush carpet by the coffee table. Esme smiled, happy at my apparent comfort among them, but Edward frowned at Jasper. In response I felt a bit of the peacefulness slip away and some tension return to my body. I followed Edward's gaze to Jasper, and I looked askance at him.

"Sorry," he drawled in response to my questioning look. "It's just so you don't run away again before we get a chance to answer your questions." The corners of his mouth lifted in a semblance of a smile, but his expression remained mostly serious. I nodded in understanding, still frowning.

"Is that what you meant about manipulating me?" I asked Rosalie. She nodded, looking unhappy.

"Then you can stop, whatever it is that you're doing," I told Jasper, tone still _pleasant._ "If we're going to do this, we'll do it on my terms. Besides, I want answers and running away won't get them for me."

Jasper glanced at Edward, who nodded. The peacefulness left me, and I was back to myself. And very irritated.

Talk about emotional whiplash.

"You can quit having silent conversations over there," I snapped. I rounded on Jasper. "What the hell was that?" I demanded.

"Apologies," Jasper responded. "There were some who thought you'd need a bit of help feeling comfortable enough to talk with us."

A musical voice broke in. "You would have left again if he hadn't," Alice said. I frowned, unhappy. "You're about to ask why I think so. I can see the future." Jasper's lips thinned at this. Did he not want me to know that tidbit of information?

I gaped at her, then closed my mouth. "It doesn't take seeing the future to know I'd ask why."

Alice grinned. "No, it doesn't. But it does take knowing the future to know that you're going to decide to stay with us."

I scoffed at that – that was NOT certain – but a part of me doubted myself. What if she was telling the truth? Edward was a mind reader, and I was a vampire. We were way past the realm of what was realistic here.

"Okay let's say for now that you really can see the future. What's my next question?"

"After asking Jasper to clarify what he was doing earlier - because he's been pretty vague - you'll ask why we talk about wolves like they're people."

Huh. That _was_ my next question. Perhaps there was something to her claim.

"Okay then. Fire away."

Edward broke in. "Just as you've already learned some of our kind have... Special abilities. I can read minds. Alice can see the future. And Jasper can influence emotions. He's what we would call an empath."

Jasper nodded. "I try to respect boundaries - Edward does too - but there are times when I do what I have to do to protect my family."

I snorted. "You don't need to protect them from me. What could I possibly do to hurt you?"

"You're a newborn, and newborns are notoriously unpredictable. Also, we don't know you. All we know is what we found on your social media profiles."

Jasper looked worried at Rosalie's interjection. Perhaps he thought I'd be offended. If anything, I appreciated her straightforwardness. She was the only one being clear with me.

Esme's voice cut through my thoughts. "Rosalie is right - we don't know you. And you don't know us. But we want to get to know you. And I hope you'll give us the chance to prove ourselves to you."

I didn't see that I had any other choice. I nodded.

"Anyone else have any superpowers I should know about?" Everyone's heads turned to Bella, and I followed their gazes. "Bella?"

The vampiress looked down at her lap, shy. "I am a bit of a shield– "

"A bit?!" Emmett interjected, amused. "Bella's only being modest," he told me. "She saved our collective asses not long ago."

"Emmet…" Esme sighed

"What? Ass? It's not that bad of a word," he protested, still grinning that stupid lopsided smile. Esme sighed loudly and waved him off. Emmett winked at me, and my lips twitched in amusement.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I can shield myself and sometimes others from another vampire's powers," she finished.

"Alright, cool." I mentally tallied the powers in the room. It was an intimidatingly powerful bunch. "That everyone?" I asked.

"More or less," Alice replied. I cast her a questioning look and Edward growled. "Relax Edward. She'll find out eventually." He glared at her.

"Find out what?" I asked, again irritated at the silent conversation happening in front of me.

"No," Edward bit out. "Later." A small crease formed between Bella's eyebrows, but she stayed silent.

"Okay, we are NOT doing this," I said. "You are NOT going to withhold information from me. YOU changed me. You OWE me an explanation."

"This isn't relevant," Edward protested. Bella's hand reached up to grip his shoulder and he looked at her.

"It will be fine," she assured him. "Didn't Alice just say so?" Edward ground his teeth and looked back down at his folded hands, then back at her. "I trust her," she said. "She's going to meet Ren eventually, if she stays with us like Alice says."

Edward searched her face a bit longer before his shoulders slumped and he nodded at Alice, still gritting his teeth.

"Edward and Bella have a daughter," Alice said simply. Ah. That's why he'd been so worried. I could understand that. "She has a gift of her own. Instead of reading minds, she can share her thoughts and memories with others."

"Okay," I accepted. That wasn't any weirder than any of the others. And their coven was already large enough to kill me three times over, one more person didn't change that fact. "Moving on… what's with the wolves?"

"The wolves are our… neighbors," Carlisle began. "Many among the Quileute tribe possess the ability to shapeshift into wolves. I won't go into their long history, but I will say, they are the natural enemy of vampires. Since we are unlike most vampires in that we do not consume human blood, we were able to strike a deal. As long as we stay off their lands, we can stay here without threat of exposure. But if we were to slip – to kill a human – we would be driven away."

I snorted to myself. "Vampires, werewolves… of course," I muttered, fiddling with the hem of my shirt to avoid looking at any of them. This was… unsettling.

"Not werewolves… exactly," Edward said. "They can control when they shift. There's others out there, the Children of the Moon, who are more like the traditional werewolves you hear of in the stories."

"So… _Seth_ is one of the… shapeshifters?" I asked. With my focus elsewhere, I didn't see the long look that passed between Edward and Carlisle.

"Yes," Carlisle said. "You just happened to… meet him in his wolf form."

"Well, let's hope we don't meet again," I said, looking up at him. "So, what happens now? Can I go home?"

Everyone visibly tensed at this question. Carlisle looked like he was carefully considering his words. "That would not be a good idea," he said. "I'm sorry, Mia. But if you were to lose control, well…" He trailed off, and I cringed at the implied meaning. "I would urge you to stay with us. It's a hard existence on your own, especially as a newborn."

I didn't suppose I had a choice in this either. I certainly didn't trust myself at the moment. This body was a powerhouse compared to my human body. I still didn't know how to control it. Perhaps my new acquaintances could help me. I nodded reluctantly.

"Yes, I suppose that makes the most sense. If you'll have me?"

"Of course we will!" Esme broke in, standing immediately and flashing to my side where she knelt and wrapped her arms around me again. "Our family is a bunch of misfits, but we fit together. You'll fit with us just fine."

I pulled away from her, a mischievous glint in my eye. "Are you calling me a misfit?" I teased. She grinned while startled laughter filled the room.

"Esme! I didn't know you could be so rude!" Bella teased, wagging her finger at the vampiress at my side. Esme looked toward Bella.

"Sorry, Mom!" Esme joked. The laughter turned uproarious, Emmett's booming laugh echoing even louder than the others off of the hard surfaces in the house. My shoulders relaxed infinitesimally at the sound. Perhaps… perhaps I _could_ fit in here.

It was clear the meeting was over. The gathering broke up as everyone went to their separate pursuits, but I stayed in place, seated cross-legged on the floor by the coffee table. As Alice passed me by, she squeezed my shoulder and knelt down to whisper in my ear.

"_Told you._"

* * *

A/N: also i ran out of U2 lyrics. nothing fit this chapter (damn fillerrrrr). and also the schtick just irritates me now lol. I don't even like U2 that much. So onward and upward! being creative! we'll see about that.


	6. Sleepless in Forks

I was bored.

As it turns out, the vampire existence, for all its legendarium and mythological intrigue, was _beyond_ mundane. The worst part was? I couldn't even sleep to pass the time.

I rested my chin in my hand from my languid position on the bed in the spare room. It was nighttime, and though I couldn't sleep, my human habits stuck with me. The room itself was pleasant, if a bit bland to my eye (just like the rest of the Cullen household). The walls were painted a pale, elegant blue, and gauzy white curtains framed the window wall on the south side of the room. It was smaller than Edward and Bella's room had been, but that was fine by me. I'd lived the last few years in a dorm room. This, by comparison, was positively spacious.

They had all done their best. Over the last ten days they'd all been eager to include me in their pastimes, and if I was honest, I was growing surprisingly comfortable around them. They were uncommonly kind. My fear had all but dissipated in that span of time as they made me welcome in their family. They'd even forged a set of identifying documents for me – Emilia Cullen, it named me. State of Washington. The eldest of their fosterlings. As I understood it, I might later be called upon to play different roles in the future, as Esme's younger sister perhaps. It helped that I was a tad older than the rest of them. I was just glad I'd never have to repeat high school, like the others.

No matter how comfortable they made me feel, however, there was still a sense of uncertainty in my mind. I still didn't quite understand why they had turned me – or what I was supposed to do now that eternity was at my fingertips. I'd always thought eternity would be something for later – after death – and that I'd be guided for its duration. Now, I was just confused.

A knock sounded at the door. "Enter!" I called, crossing and uncrossing my ankles in the air while I gently picked at loose threads on the bedspread, practicing my fine motor skills with as much gentleness I could muster. I was getting used to the extra strength… but only just.

The door swung open, and though I didn't look to see who it was, the stirring of air told me someone large had entered the room. Emmett.

"What's up, Emmett?" I asked, tone as bland as the room. The only answer I received was a small, hard object hitting the back of my head. "…the hell?" I turned, seeing an Xbox controller pillowed on the bedspread next to my elbow. "You could've broken that, you know," I told him, the corner of my lips upturned at the obvious invitation.

"Come onnnn," he whined. "You're being boring, moping up here. Come play a level with me."

I sat up, tucking my hair behind my ears. "My real question is, when are YOU going to get bored of Call of Duty?"

He gave me an answering grin. "Never."

I shrugged and waited, looking at him out of the corner of my eyes. He bounced on his toes. "Fine." I said, sighing and reaching for the controller.

"HA! Edward, pay up!" Emmett yelled. Before promptly scooping me up and throwing me over his shoulder. Before I could complain, we were down the stairs and Emmett was depositing me unceremoniously on the pristine white couch, my legs flying up into the air and my shoulders hitting the seat of the couch. I flipped to my feet easily, growling at Emmett playfully, the Xbox controller forgotten in my hand as I clenched my fists in preparation for a battle. The plastic crunched in my hand and I looked down in dismay.

Emmett broke into laughter, eyes shining with glee at my horrified expression. "I'm sorry," I moaned. "I'm not good at this yet."

Emmett snickered. "None of us really are," he told me kindly. "But you are _particularly_ bad at it."

I playfully shoved him in the shoulder. "Shut up."

Rosalie sashayed into the room and settled herself into the overstuffed armchair. "Emmett, quit being rude, or Mia won't want to play with you anymore." Emmett only grinned and winked at her. Out of nowhere his hand shot out and shoved me into the couch again. I yanked myself up and back to my toes, ready to pounce on his hulking form.

"Really, I'm surprised I keep besting you," Emmett teased. "You are the newborn after all."

"Maybe I'm just letting you win. Keeping you comfortable. Waiting for the prime opportunity to strike." I fired back. Emmett only guffawed.

"Like you could. I'm easily the strongest here. You? You're smaller than Alice!"

"Oh yeah?" I grinned wickedly. "Let's test this out. My brains to your brawn."

Rosalie snorted. "She's got you there, honey. You're not exactly the brightest crayon in the box." She paired it with a smirk and winked back at her husband, taking some of the sting out of her words.

"Yeah!" I agreed enthusiastically. "Antagonizing the newborn and all. Dummy."

Emmett grinned wider, if possible, and took a step forward, looming over my small frame. "Them's fightin' words, Mia. You sure you want to go up against me?"

I took a step forward too, closing the space between us. My challenging stance was only slightly ruined by the fact that I had to look up so far to see his face.

"Children!" Esme arrived, hands on her hips. "Stop this now or take it outside." Her stern countenance was betrayed by the twinkle in her eye.

Emmett stepped away grumbling, then pressed a button on a remote that opened a drawer underneath the TV, which was set in the wall. The drawer contained…. At least twenty Xbox controllers. He picked one out and tossed it to me, which I was careful to treat more gently than the first. I grinned. "This happen a lot?" I asked.

"More times than I can count," Rosalie's voice interrupted. "You'd think he'd learn."

"I mean, you're the one who said it. Not the brightest," Emmett drawled in response, thunking his forefinger against his head. Rosalie darted up, appearing in front of her husband.

"That's alright, hun," she cooed. "You're MY dummy."

I gagged. "Get a room, y'all." Emmett pecked his wife on the lips with a quick kiss then threw himself into the couch, sliding us back a good couple of feet and at an angle.

"Let's see what you're made of, pipsqueak," he taunted me.

I leaned forward with a grin on my own. "My skills aren't the ones in question here," I said.

"Oh, it's _ON_."

A couple of hours passed, and before long the game devolved into a mock fight. Emmett started throwing pillows at me – of which there were many in the living room. The first few throws were funny as they caught me unawares, and I laughed as I dodged the pillows. Before long, however, the pillows to the face grew irritating. Emmett was truly like a little brother, and like my own younger siblings, didn't know when to stop. Rosalie caught onto my irritation and came to my rescue, telling Emmett I'd had enough and to leave me alone, before pulling on his arm to drag him upstairs to their bedroom where… I didn't want to think about what they were doing.

Dawn came soon after, lighting the forest around us with that ethereal light I had grown accustomed to by now. I pondered the day ahead as I stared out the kitchen windows into the greenery surrounding us. Mid-December scenes like this made me miss the sensation of holding a warm cup of coffee in my hands. Coffee no longer appealed to me, of course, but the memory seemed magical, in a way. My current "magical" existence (for it couldn't be explained by current scientific knowledge, that was for sure) seemed absolutely tedious by comparison.

A hand settled on my shoulder, interrupting my gloom. I looked up to see Edward standing behind me. I cast him a questioning look and he only quirked a small, sad smile at me.

"It's natural to miss your human life, you know," he said, settling on a barstool. My eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"You could, you know, stay out of my head," I bit out, knowing the words I said were false. It just wasn't fair to have literally no privacy in this household.

"You know I can't," Edward said.

A moment of silence. Then, "…I know." We rested in silence a moment longer. My eyes skimmed the horizon, barely taking it in while my thoughts raced. "What's the point?" I finally asked bitterly.

Edward took in a breath, then exhaled slowly. "Does there have to be a point? Why not just be?"

I shrugged. I felt there had to be some meaning to my existence. Some reason as to why I was here. I wasn't one to quote 'everything happens for a reason' because I didn't think things like _getting hit by jeeps_ happened for a reason, but I had to believe that my existence mattered, and wasn't just some inconsequential rearrangement of DNA. I had to have a purpose. What was it? It was harder to tell now that my entire sense of self was gone.

My eyes slid to Edward's and I studied him as he sat there, elbow resting on the kitchen counter where he leaned in his seated position. He clearly had human movements down pat. I, who was most recently human, stood stock still in front of the window. I might as well have been cast in bronze.

Edward was clearly considering my thoughts and caught my gaze as I stared at him questioningly. He rolled his shoulders, then answered, looking over my shoulder and out the window. "You may be right," he conceded. "But you have time to consider it. Try not to torture yourself. I've been there – and it's not pretty, or necessary." He paused. "Or helpful," he added.

I closed my eyes in frustration, then turned away from him. He was right, I knew. I just didn't want to admit it. I had time to contemplate all this. Unlike my human self, which had been a step closer to death every day. Perhaps it'd be better for me to leave this until later when I wasn't missing my old self quite so much.

"You've got us," Edward broke in. "And we're here for you. Don't forget."

I nodded briefly, and he left me to my own devices.

Edward, Alice, and Esme left a few hours later to hunt. The rest of us stayed behind. I'd hunted the day before, so it really wasn't necessary for me to go again, even though they all encouraged me to stay as "hydrated" as possible. When I wasn't hunting, I was confined to the house. They didn't trust me around humans yet. As a newborn, I was liable to make mistakes. It was hard not to be irritated at the rules, even if I understood why they were in place. I imagined a large part of my boredom was due to being cooped up.

I was back in my room – because Esme _insisted_ I call it mine – when I heard them approaching the house. New voices. And unmistakably… two heartbeats.

In a flash I was out on the balcony overlooking the living room. I couldn't exactly say that my thirst _didn't _flare to life at the back of my throat – but I wasn't exactly desperate enough to actually be motivated to action.

"….it's gonna be fine, Jake. Quit worrying."

"That's like telling me not to breathe."

"Well, you just need to learn to relax sometimes. I'm not in any danger here."

"I'm not so sure."

"They're my _parents_, Jake! I miss them!"

"I still think this is a bad idea. You have no idea how she's going to react."

I was so preoccupied that when Jasper's presence made itself known on the balcony, I barely regarded him. It was no surprise that he'd show up in these circumstances. They'd all made it perfectly clear how I should never be alone with a human – at least, not for some _years_. I ignored him. The voices were still arguing, and it was the most _interesting_ thing to happen in _days_.

Bella flitted down the stairs to the door where she threw it open. On the stoop stood two individuals – one large, russet-skinned, _gorgeous_ man, and one young twenty-something girl. She looked like she was slightly older than Bella, but otherwise was quite similar in appearance. Same heart-shaped face, same long, wavy brown hair, only brown-eyed.

This had to be Ren.

Bella threw her arms around the girl and held her tight. "I missed you, love," she murmured. Ren clutched her back just as tightly.

"Missed you too, Mom."

Jake stepped in and as the air carried his scent into the house, I stepped back and crouched like I'd just been punched in the gut, face crinkling up and my elbow going to cover my nose. The _horror_. The STENCH.

Jasper snickered, drawing everyone's attention up to us. I quickly straightened and fixed my face into some semblance of a normal expression, throwing Jasper a dangerous look, which only made him snicker even more.

"Hey," Ren greeted me. "I'm Ren, you must be Mia?"

I nodded, mouth breaking into a small smile. I pretended not to notice the odor that carried up from the doorway. "Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you." I made no move to approach. Better not to scare Bella or Jasper. And better not to get too close to that smell. I wasn't even remotely thirsty now.

Jake kept his wary eyes on me. "Nice to meet you, Mia. I'm Jake."

I nodded awkwardly. "Hi." I waved a small wave.

Bella glanced up, eyes dancing in amusement, before she enveloped her daughter in her arms and led her to the living room. I retreated to my room. Jasper followed.

"You could've warned me," I hissed in his direction, tossing a pillow at his face. Jasper caught it easily, grinning.

"An incredibly entertaining oversight on our part. I do apologize," he drawled in that irritating Southern accent.

"You do _not_." I rolled my eyes. He snickered again, then bowed slightly in an antiquated, formal manner.

"As you say, ma'am."

"Don't _ma'am_ me, you imbecile."

"Imbecile? That's a new one."

"Well, imbeciles aren't _acquainted_ with fifty-cent words."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant." He plopped on the bed beside me, both of us on our stomachs. I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Keeping you company."

"I don't need company."

Jasper only raised his eyebrow at this. I closed my eyes and breathed out sharply in frustration. Seriously, what was WITH all these interfering vampires with their invasive powers?

"Look – I now you don't like that we can read you so easily. None of us have control over it – "

"I _know_ that," I interrupted.

Jasper continued, undeterred. " – but beyond that, you're a part of our family now. As crazy as it seems after such a short time, we take care of our family. And that means you."

I sighed, my irritation ebbing away. I supposed it did help that I wasn't alone facing my new existence. I couldn't imagine doing any of this without the Cullens.

A moment passed, and then the realization hit me. I looked at him warily.

Jasper looked like he was about to tease me again, but kept it tamped down when he sensed how serious I was. "I'm not doing anything, I swear."

I searched his cool amber gaze for any hint of deception and didn't find any. I shrugged and looked away, resuming picking at the bedcovers as I had the night before.

Jasper's hand settled over my own, stilling my fidgeting hands. "Come on. Let's do something else. Get your mind off things."

"Only so long as I don't have to smell that wet dog smell the whole time." Jasper laughed outright at this.

"No chance of that. Come on."

Jasper and I ended up starting a chess game, of which he was a literal master. I had no skills to speak of, relatively speaking, and kept getting frustrated as the pile of my chess pieces in front of him grew. Regardless, it was a welcome distraction from my introspection as I furiously strategized.

At times, I'd catch snippets of Bella, Ren, and Jake's conversation from below. Mostly, they talked about Ren's plans for her bedroom at Edward and Bella's cottage, and of Edward and Bella's plans for post-college graduation travels. Christmas plans were also in the works, it seemed. SO many plans. Did these people ever slow down?

When the conversation turned haltingly toward the "Rez" and the "pack" though, my ears perked up. This was new. They'd only told me the basics about the pack. I maintained a careful, focused expression on the chess board while Jasper considered his next move.

"…how's Seth holding up?" Bella murmured, her voice softer than before. Almost as if she were talking about a secret. _Seth_. My brain screamed at me in remembrance. The wolf who attacked me.

I couldn't see the trio but I could imagine the glances being shared. Jake spoke just as softly as Bella. "As well as can be expected. He's got us, and Leah's with him almost 24/7, but… it's not easy."

"I imagine not," Bella sighed regretfully. "None of us anticipated this." Silence fell once more. I was curious and was tempted to peek over the railing, but Jasper fixed me with a knowing stare as he made his move.

Checkmate. I groaned.

"Ugh, is there _anything_ you're not good at?" I whined. Jasper's gaze softened into amusement.

"If there is, I'm sure you'll find it… eventually."

The conversation downstairs turned back to inconsequential things – as if my outburst had reminded them they weren't alone in the house – and Jasper and I gathered up the chess pieces. I was tempted to ask about the conversation downstairs, but had a feeling I wouldn't get anything useful from him. Something told me it was private. After everything we'd been through in the past week and a half, though, I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. They had accepted me so thoroughly so far. Yet, now I knew they were hiding something from me.

Well. We'd see about that.


	7. Octave

Boredom quickly turned into antsiness as the days drug on. I was cooped up in the house when I wasn't hunting with the others; as a newborn, I wasn't trusted to interact with the human world yet, and the Cullen's didn't want the wolves to know I had joined their family.

"Don't they already know?" I had asked when the subject of my boundaries had come up. "I mean, I met one in the woods. And I crossed the treaty line. Can't they, I don't know... Smell my trail?"

Carlisle had nodded his affirmation. "The one you met – Seth – is a part of Jacob's pack, and Jacob has already ordered them to keep knowledge of your presence to themselves. Sam's pack doesn't know you've joined us yet, but Jacob has already explained our cover story to him."

Ah, yes. I was a "nomad" friend who came to visit and accidentally strayed across the border without realizing.

"Sam will have no reason to antagonize us, this is nothing new to him. Don't worry," Carlisle assured.

My worries that Sam's people would come to the Cullen house were also unfounded. Apparently, all dealings between the tribe and the Cullens were handled through Jacob these days. And for whatever reason, Jacob was on my side.

Whatever. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

My safety aside, the boundaries were beginning to chafe. I longed for the freedom to run, to feel the wind tugging at my hair and to smell all the scents carried on the breeze. I got a fair amount of running in when I was taken to go hunting, but there was only so far that I could go within my boundaries, and I never got up to full speed.

I felt like a lab animal, cornered in a glass box and under constant observation.

Jasper picked up on all this, naturally, as did Edward. Which is how I found myself tagging along with the pair of them on an extended "camping trip" in a remote, unforgiving section of the Blue Mountains. We easily scaled boulders and cliff faces and perched in the highest branches of fir trees that swayed in the wind. My fear of heights had all but left me now that I knew a fall could never hurt me. It was a nice escape but was over too soon.

On our last day of the long weekend, I carved my name into a boulder with my index finger. "Mia was here," it read.

Jasper cocked his eyebrow in amusement. "Your technique is truly sublime," he teased. "It really conveys the deeper message."

He, Emmett and I had developed a camaraderie that often devolved into teasing and friendly jabs. Today, though, I was not inclined to participate. Perhaps he had meant to draw me from my black mood, but the lightheartedness was only aggravating.

Jasper realized this a silent heartbeat later. He murmured a quiet apology and left me to my thoughts.

I stared at the note - the evidence that I was still here and still me - a moment longer, then joined him and Edward, trying not to be too glum about returning home.

_Home._

When had I started considering the Cullen house my home? I wondered what my family was doing. Were they gathered around the kitchen table right now, eating dinner? Were they watching a movie? Did they know I was gone?

Who was kidding. _Of course_ they knew. My best friend and roommate, Kiyah, would've alerted the authorities the moment I didn't text back within the hour.

My phone had been crushed in the accident. How many missed calls had I received? How many unanswered texts? Would they have traced the phone's last location? Would they find my blood on the road? Did they believe me dead or just missing?

Edward and Jasper shared a glance. It threw me over the edge.

"Get the FUCK out of my head," I snarled, clenching my fists.

Edward and Jasper wisely kept their thoughts to themselves.

I led the way after that, trying to keep my anger in check. I half expected Jasper to butt in and try to calm me down, but miraculously, he didn't. Perhaps they had both learned by now. Or perhaps they were saving the lecture for later. I sped up as we neared home, easily leaving them in the dust with my newborn speed.

When I got back to the house, I quickly changed out of my blood and travel-stained clothes before seeking out Rosalie. Like usual, she was tinkering with her cars in the garage.

I stepped in and inhaled deeply. The smell of grease and rubber filled the air, and though I had no particular attachment to cars, it filled me with a deep nostalgia. Something about it seemed distinctly human. For a moment, I could forget anything had happened to me.

Rosalie pulled back from where she'd been tucked away under the hood of one of her cars. "Need something?" she asked, brusque as ever.

"…not exactly," I mumbled. "Actually, I needed to get away from Edward and Jasper."

Rosalie snorted and her lips curled up into a knowing smirk. "I'm amazed you lasted as long as you did. I would've ditched them days sooner."

I rolled my eyes but answered her smirk with a grin of my own. "Can I join you?" I asked.

"Sure." She paused, seeming to war with herself for a moment. "Do you want to help?" she finally asked.

I laughed outright at this. "Umm, better not. I don't know anything about cars. All I know is that one is red. And shiny."

Rosalie's lips twitched upward again, seeming relieved that I wasn't going to take her up on her offer. I found myself feeling oddly touched at the gesture, despite her obvious discomfort allowing me anywhere near her car. I settled myself on top of her workbench, scattering a few tools aside to make room, and she bent back over the engine of her car, hands deftly digging into various nooks and crannies to do who knew what.

The boys arrived not long after and dispersed to their own pastimes. Both of them knew I had arrived safely, by my fresh scent trail, and left me to my own devices. I was grateful for this reprieve. I knew later I would need to apologize to them, but for now, I just needed quiet. A place where I could be alone with my thoughts without being physically alone. I closed my eyes, hands gripping the edge of the worktable, and let myself relax, focusing only on the small clanks and mechanical whirring coming from the direction of Rosalie's car.

An unknowable amount of time passed. Rosalie finished her work and moved to the next car over. It seemed whatever she was doing was routine maintenance. I wished I had something routine to do – something to keep me occupied, to keep me from my thoughts. With this, my mind turned back toward all the things I had been avoiding thinking about. My moment of peace was over, clearly. I opened my eyes and studied Rosalie's practiced movements.

She glanced up at me, clearly sensing my attention was on her again. She paused in her movements, then straightened.

"Come here, I have something I want to show you."

I flitted to her side.

"Do you know how to change a battery?"

Which is how I found myself shadowing Rosalie for the next hour. She taught me how to change a battery, how to change the fluids, and how to change out headlights and taillights and windshield wipers. She even let me sit in her shiny red car as we tested the new wipers, but I was soon ushered out after I hit a plethora of wrong buttons and switched too many wrong levers in my search for the proper controls. Rosalie directed me toward the radio sitting on the workbench after that, telling me to DJ. I sighed in relief. That, I could safely operate.

I was flipping through her CDs, thinking to myself how old school she was, when I heard it. Piano music, coming from the living room. Warmth blossomed in my chest at the sound and I distractedly left the CDs to wander toward the doorway.

Bits and pieces of Tchaikovsky, Debussy and Schumann mingled with notes from more modern composers like Ludovico Einaudi and some artist I couldn't identify. I left the relative safety of the garage to tiptoe through the kitchen to the threshold of the living room, where I knew, just around the corner, Edward was playing the piano. There, I leaned against the doorframe, resting my head against the cool wood grain, and sighed, feeling the music settle gently but completely into my bones. I closed my eyes again. The unidentifiable magic of it pulled me in and I lost myself to the depth of feeling that came with every chord, every note struck.

When the notes ended, I felt raw, like all of my layers had been pulled back, examined, and stitched back together. I wanted to ask him not to stop, but I wasn't sure how much more _feeling_ I could process. Instead, I stepped into the room and made my way to the piano.

"Thank you," I breathed, not sure what else to say.

Edward looked up at me with glistening, honey-gold eyes. "You didn't tell us you were a musician." His voice was gentle and curious.

He'd heard my thoughts. It was a mark of growth that I didn't say anything about it.

I shrugged. "Only ever for fun. It's not something I've pursued very intently." I paused. "I missed this, though, and I didn't realize how much until now." I reverently smoothed my hand over the edge of the piano's lid, studying the inner workings of the open instrument to avoid meeting Edward's gaze.

"Why don't you play for us?" he invited, sliding out from behind the keys.

"Oh no, I couldn't…" I protested. Not after his masterful display.

"Yes, you can," he encouraged. "Please? It's so rare that I get to hear others play."

I hesitated.

Esme appeared at the doorway. "Please?" she echoed, eyes shining.

I mock growled at the two of them. "That's not fair," I said. Edward and Esme shared a glance and smiled before returning their gazes to me. I eased past Edward and slid onto the piano bench, sitting behind the pristine black and white keys of the piano. I wracked my brain for something to play. When I finally settled on a song, I laid my fingers over the keys, where they found their marks with ease. It appeared my muscle memory hadn't disappeared with my change, filling me with unexpected pleasure.

The song I'd picked was intermediate level at best, and I stumbled through the trickier passages, as I attempted to play grace notes and staccato sixteenth notes without damaging the piano with my newborn strength. But as I played, it grew more natural and before long, my stiff posture relaxed into the swaying phrases of the composition. I didn't come close to hitting every note, and there were passages I forgot entirely, but I lost myself in it regardless.

The single, final note rang out and echoed through the house. I closed my eyes and let it hum through me before lifting my foot off the sustain pedal and my finger off the key. I ducked my head, suddenly embarrassed, and knew that if I'd still been human my cheeks would be flaring red. Before I could slink away, however, Esme was there, hugging me.

"Thank you, sweetheart. That was beautiful."

I awkwardly hugged her back. She pulled away and swept a strand of my shoulder-length hair behind my ear. I was surprised and concerned to see her eyes glistening with unshedable tears. "Please keep playing," she requested. "It's so beautiful to see you play."

"I don't know anything else," I replied in a small, uncertain voice.

"We can get you whatever sheet music you like," Edward said, face alight with something undefinable.

I looked between the two of them. I didn't understand their reaction, but it was apparent there was a story somewhere in this. Unsure what I was getting myself into, I nodded. Esme gave me a final squeeze and left to settle on the nearest couch, clearly waiting for me to play more.

Edward gestured to the bench and I stood. We lifted the seat to find a smattering of sheet music to select from. He pulled out one well-worn book – a copy of Ludovico Einaudi's sheet music. Intermediate level. I myself had owned a copy of this very book – it was currently stored in the piano bench at my parents' home. The sight brought venomous tears to my own eyes.

"Great minds think alike," he said, gently placing the book in my hands. "It's yours, if you'd like."

I nodded, too overcome by the gift for words. He had no idea what a comfort it was to have this well-loved book in my hands.

His expression told me otherwise. He knew very well.

And this time, instead of telling him in no uncertain terms to keep his mind to himself, I reached out and hugged him. I wasn't at the point where I could call any of them family. No, they weren't my brothers and sisters yet. But could I call him a friend?

Yes. Yes, I could.

* * *

A/N: I struggled with this chapter. I started this fic with no sense of a plot or where I wanted to take it, and suddenly the writing was taking me places and I was unprepared. Only at the urging and encouragement of my sister did I manage to take what I had written and revamp it.

hehehe, revamp(ire) it ;)

Anyway, it's past my bedtime and I'm just proud I got this far so here, have a chapter! As always, reviews are most welcome and hoped for.


	8. The Hands that Build

A/N: Hey y'all. A quick note before you read. This is a scary time in the world and I hope you're doing well and staying safe. Now is absolutely the time to take the experts seriously so thank you for self-isolating when you can and staying connected via technology. Good wishes and health to you and yours. Please remember to take care of yourselves mentally and emotionally in this time too. Fair warning, this chapter gets kind of angsty at the end so if it's not what you need right now, please come back and read another time. Much love.

Many thanks to those of you who have commented! It truly means the world to me to have your input and encouragement.

* * *

It was Christmas Eve before I heard his voice.

* * *

"Alice, will you quit?" I asked, exasperated.

"What?" Her golden eyes were the very image of innocence.

She had casually pulled out a tape measure and was attempting to sneakily measure my shoulder width.

"I'm not a doll, you know," I teased.

She rolled her eyes and grinned. "Christmas is coming. Don't you want to look nice?"

I gave her a look. "I'm a vampire. I already look nice."

Rosalie snorted in the background. Alice's brows pulled together in a frown.

"Don't you want to look _your best_," she replied. It wasn't really a question.

I sighed and rolled my eyes back at her. "Do your worst."

She smiled brightly and held the tape measure back up to my shoulders. I patiently waited while she took down my measurements.

"Do I want to know what you're planning?" I teased. Alice only winked, then sped up the stairs to her room. Christmas was only three days away. I had no idea what Alice thought she could come up with in that time.

Freed from her ministrations, I rolled my shoulders and eased myself down onto the couch. Rosalie sat in the other corner, scrolling through her phone. I looked around, trying to think of something to say or do, when an idea occurred to me out of the blue.

"Can I get a phone?" I blurted, unthinkingly. Rosalie looked up.

"I'm surprised we haven't gotten you one already," she said, frowning.

Alice sped down the stairs again, holding her hands behind her back. "This was supposed to be a Christmas present, but here you are," she said, her words coming out in a rush. With a flourish, she presented a pristine, white box.

I took the box reverently. I'd never been able to afford an iPhone before. "Thank you," I breathed.

Alice's grin widened even further, if possible. "I'm glad you like it! Let me know what case you want. OH…" her eyes went unseeing for a moment, then snapped back to mine. "The glittery one. You just want it ironically, right?"

I laughed openly at this. It hadn't taken long for me to believe her about her ability, but there were times it still surprised me. "Yes, that's right."

"Got it," she said, mock saluting me before rushing off back to her secret projects.

I shared an amused glance with Rosalie. _That girl_. She seemed determined on showering me with gifts. I had no idea if this was just her love language, or if she was trying to make me feel welcome in the family, but whatever the case, it was working.

The phone kept me entertained for a while but soon enough even I grew tired of it. Rosalie had joined Alice upstairs, being the only one the little pixie would admit into her secret lair. Part of me wondered if Jasper was disgruntled by the tornado of patterns and fabrics that had taken over his room, or if he was secretly as much of a fashionista as Alice. Part of me hoped the latter was true.

* * *

Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and I hunted one more time the night before Christmas Eve. Ren and Jake were coming over for the holiday, and while Edward would never admit it to my face, I knew he was still nervous having his daughter near me. I tried not to resent him for it. Were I in the same position, I would probably feel just the same. I tried extra hard to hunt thoroughly and filled myself to the bursting point. I was truly uncomfortable, just like when I was a human third grader and ate too much mac n' cheese at the buffet. I vaguely recalled my mom lecturing me on portion sizes.

When we turned to head home, Edward shot me a grateful glance. I smiled back. He had been a friend to me – so I could be a friend to him too. As a reward for my efforts, I was greatly pleased to find upon our return that my eye color had shifted ever so slightly toward the orange portion of the spectrum.

The next day was filled with decorations and baking. Esme and Bella headed up the baking portion while Alice directed decoration placement. Emmett, being the tallest, naturally found himself at Alice's behest. Edward, Rosalie and Carlisle also assisted, while Jasper and I were directed to help Esme and Bella in the kitchen.

"Do we really need all this food?" I queried, lifting my wooden spoon and watching the cake batter ooze back into the mixing bowl.

Bella's laugh pealed into the space. Esme glanced up from the dishes she was washing while her foster daughter wasn't watching, a soft, fond smile turning her lips.

It was ever so evident how Bella had completed their family. A twinge of jealousy came to life in me, but I squashed it down.

"Don't ever underestimate Esme's dedication to feeding the mortals."

"Ren's not mortal," Jasper reminded Bella. He kept a steady pace stirring some caramel over the gas stove.

"That's true – though she certainly keeps company with plenty of them!"

"Even so, isn't this a bit overkill?" I asked, gesturing toward the full dining table. It was covered in every possible manner of dessert, from gingersnaps to shortbread to cupcakes to lemon bars and pies. As far as I was aware, Ren and Jake were the only two coming over.

"The wolves are always ravenous," Esme explained. "And whatever they don't eat, we'll donate to the local shelter." I nodded in understanding, even though I still didn't completely understand. Regardless, at least it wouldn't go to waste.

When everyone had turned back to their tasks, I delicately swiped a finger through the chocolate batter, and experimentally stuck the finger in my mouth.

It tasted like… mold. I fought the urge to spit it out, but my nose wrinkled, and I gagged. Jasper stared at me with open, disgusted amusement.

"Why in the world did you do that?" he asked. Bella glanced my way too, realizing what I'd done as my finger was still in my mouth. I quickly returned to stirring the batter, hoping Esme hadn't also seen me.

"I was just curious," I defended. I couldn't help but be disappointed it no longer tasted like chocolate. Chocolate cake had been my favorite as a human.

Mercifully, no one asked me any more questions.

We finished in record time, leaving everyone hours to finish wrapping their gifts and bask in each other's presence in the remarkably festive atmosphere Alice orchestrated. Silver bows and ornaments along with elegant greenery tastefully graced nearly every corner of the house. I excused myself to my room to put the final touches on my gifts for the Cullens.

Hours passed. I finished my work and sealed it all with silver ribbons stolen from Alice's stash. Just in time, too, as evening was falling. Christmas Eve was upon us. I left the confines of my space to wander toward Alice's bedroom where I could hear Alice and Rosalie murmuring softly. I raised my hand to knock.

"Come in!" Alice called cheerfully. "You're just in time too!"

I entered the small space. Rosalie was sprawled on her stomach in the four-poster bed, idly playing with a lock of hair while she browsed one of her car manuals. A lovely burgundy, floor length dress lay spread out next to her. Alice's tastefully decorated room was strewn with scraps of fabric and bits of thread. She sat hunched over a sewing machine, pins held carefully in her lips, guiding a bunch of deep green fabric under the whirring needle.

"There!" she said as she reached the end of the seam, remarkably pleased with herself. She pulled the green fabric out from under the needle and snipped the thread close before standing and shaking it out. "Try it on NOW, I need to make sure everything's perfect."

She laid the garment in my hands and I looked down in awe. She had created a lovely, deep green velvet skater's dress, with black mesh panels near the waist making the dress seem like a set of separates. The neck was high, and the sleeves short.

"Alice… I don't know what to say," I said. My eyes lifted to hers and she grinned, pleased at my apparent happiness.

"I knew you would like it. Go, try it on!" She flapped her arms at me, urging me to her connected bathroom. I quickly followed her directions, slipping off my tee and jeans and sliding the dress on in record time. It hung perfectly, as I was sure Alice knew it would, and as I caught my reflection in the mirror, I found myself, for the first time since my change, appreciating my appearance. I looked _damn_ good.

And perhaps the red eyes mixed with the green dress were festive? I snorted at the thought, then grabbed the door and eagerly reentered Alice's room.

"Do I pass inspection?" I asked, grinning and twirling in the dress for extra measure. Alice clapped her hands in delight while Rosalie looked on in approval.

"You're absolutely _perfect. _One more thing. Actually two." She dug around in her closet. "Here!" She handed me a pair of black combat boots and sheer black tights. "You can keep those, I have another pair of each."

"Thanks!" I said, quickly donning both items. "But really, thank you Alice. You're the best."

"I know," she replied happily.

In the distance, I heard the whirr of a car engine fast approaching. Rosalie and Alice looked at each other and smiled softly. "That'll be Ren," Rosalie murmured. "I'd better get dressed." She gathered her dress in her arms and darted off to her own bedroom. I flashed one more grin at Alice, then stepped out onto the landing. Below, I could hear voices murmuring. Carlisle and Esme. I was about to speed down the stairs and join them when I heard a word that made me stop in my tracks.

_Seth._

"…don't you think you ought to check up on him?" Esme was asking, voice hushed.

"It's not something science or medicine can answer," Carlisle responded. His voice sounded… resigned, tired even. "I tried to understand it when Jake imprinted on Ren, but there's nothing in the literature, and no medical test works reliably on the wolves' biology. They're too far from human." A soft sound echoed up to my ears – probably Carlisle running his hand through his hair. "There's nothing I can do for him."

Silence.

"He has a good community around him." Esme sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "He'll pull through."

"Yes," Carlisle said. "Yes, he will."

The conversation seemed to be over. I waited an extra second, hoping more information would come my way, but it seemed that was not to be the case. I sped down the stairs to join the heads of the household.

"Mia, dear," Esme greeted as soon as I appeared by her side. "You look lovely!"

"Blame Alice," I said. I couldn't help the pleased smile at her praise. "You look beautiful."

Her caramel hair was pinned to the side in smooth waves, and she wore a black and gold filigree-patterned dress. Carlisle, to my amusement, wore a _bow tie_ made of the same material, paired with a burgundy dress shirt.

He caught my glance and threw a rather silly smile my way. "Do you like it?" he asked, pretending to preen himself and adjust his tie.

"It's very… stylish," I said, laughing. He gave me a mock offended look.

"Did you hear that?" he asked Esme. "She hesitated."

"I told you it was better to listen to Alice," Esme beamed at him, playing along. "See now, you've made it all crooked. Come here." She reached up to fix it, and I looked away, smirking.

One by one the rest of the family filtered into the room. Everyone, as expected, was dressed to the nines. Rosalie's dress became her very well, as did Alice's – a modern, silver sheath dress that made her look like royalty. Bella resembled an angel in her creamy white dress with its fluttery hem. The boys all wore dress shirts in varying shades of green, black, and burgundy – though none of them were as brave as Carlisle to try to match their wives with a bow tie.

Edward snorted and my smirk grew wider. I looked away, out the window, to hold in my laughter.

Ren and Jake were almost here. Darkness had long since fallen and the stars twinkled brightly in the rare, clear night sky. Esme flitted around the room to light some candles and dim the overhead lights while Edward moved to the piano and started playing Christmas carols. Everything sparkled beautifully, creating the loveliest ambiance.

_What I wouldn't give to be sharing this beauty with my family. _

I shoved the thought away before it could suck me under. The Cullens had included me in their holiday and I was not going to ruin it for them. I clenched my fists behind my back, then relaxed, trying to regain the composure I had held only moments before.

The crunching sound of gravel under wheels reached our ears, announcing Ren and Jake's presence. They pulled up to the house and in moments we heard their car engine shut off. Mysteriously, they weren't making any move to leave the car and join us.

There were… three heartbeats? I frowned.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Jake said, his voice seeming clear as day despite the walls between us.

"No, I… I need to," a male voice responded. I cocked my head, my frown deepening. I had heard that voice before… hadn't I? Esme's hands flew up to her mouth in surprise and I felt, rather than saw, surreptitious glances being thrown my way.

"Are you sure?" Ren asked gently. "Everyone will understand. You don't have to do this so soon."

"I've made my decision. Can we please not talk about this anymore?"

I was _certain_ I had heard that voice before. But _where?_

"Okay," Jake said. We finally heard them exit their car and approach the house. Esme and Carlisle moved forward, as did Bella and Edward, who had long since stopped playing the piano. I stayed rooted to the spot, ignoring Jasper's frequent glances. If I had been human, my heart would have beating out of my ribcage. Something important was happening and I couldn't put my finger on it.

The door swung open and the mortals crowded in. The stench of wet dog reached me, but I was so distracted I barely registered it.

"Seth, welcome," Carlisle said warmly. The press of bodies around the doorway hid Seth from view but I knew from Carlisle's posture he was extending his hand in greeting.

"Thanks, Carlisle," Seth said. His voice was gravelly and warm. "Esme," he continued. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Open invitation," Esme said, voice filled with maternal affection. "You are always welcome here." She tentatively took a step forward and reached her arms around the man, who I could now see as Carlisle had stepped aside. He had short dark hair, and a kind face. Muscles rippled underneath his russet skin, and he dwarfed Esme in size. His eyes were squeezed shut as he accepted her motherly embrace.

The hug went on for longer than I expected but finally Seth drew away. Never once did he look in my direction. Edward and Bella stepped forward and greeted Seth as well while Carlisle and Esme welcomed both Jake and Ren in. The latter two were watching Seth with concern, and Jake's eyes kept flickering to mine. My confused frown remained firmly in place, though something in me had me twitching with anticipation while I studied the newcomers.

Carlisle and Esme led the way back into the living room. Seth followed, with Jake and Ren bringing up the rear.

Emmett stepped forward. "Good to see you, man," he said, clasping arms with Seth. Seth nodded.

Everyone was being so _awkward._ It was driving me nuts. The feeling of familiarity was growing but I shoved it down. It wouldn't do to be rude. I moved to Emmett's side and stuck out my hand.

"I think we've already met," I said with a smile. "Can we start over? I'm Mia."

Seth finally looked at me. He visibly swallowed, then lifted a shaking hand to take mine. "Hi," he said. "Nice to meet you. I'm Seth."

As our palms touched, I froze.

_Any other time I would've told the hands to go away. But this – I needed this. These hands were gentle, strong, kind. I knew no danger from them. I held on, by a thread, and these made that thread stronger._

I looked down, stunned, at our clasped hands. His skin burned in my icy grip.

"_Emilia Jackson, you are not alone," a low voice sounded in my ear. Whoever the speaker was, was male. He had to be the one with the butterfly touch. The movements never stopped, soothing me even as my body trembled in its desperation to escape from the fire._

"It was you," I breathed. My shocked eyes darted back up to his face.

Seth trembled, hand still clasped in mine. The room held their breath.

"I'm sorry," he choked out. He pulled his hand from my own and backed away. "I-I'm sorry. I can't." He stumbled backward, and ran.

"Wait!" I called. I ran after him, ignoring the calls of my friends and dodging their staying hands. "Wait, Seth!" I rushed out the door behind him into the cool night air.

He was far ahead of me already, and deep into the woods. I followed. "Please, wait, please Seth…" I pleaded, voice carrying in the quietness of the forest.

In his pseudo-human form, he was much slower than I, so it proved an easy feat to catch up. I met him at the banks of the river – the same river I had crossed previously in my naivety. The stars shone brightly above us, sparkling merrily in a mockery of the scene below them.

I skidded to a stop, only yards away from Seth. My last plea of "wait!" died on my lips. He faced away from me.

"What?" he demanded, almost angrily.

"I–" Now that I was here, I wasn't sure what it was I needed to say.

"Yes?"

"…you helped me."

"…yes."

"Why?"

His shoulders deflated. He turned to look at me then, and I could see the tears glistening in his eyes. I stepped closer to him, as slowly and gently as I could, as if approaching a frightened animal.

"Why did you run?" I murmured this time, throat tight with emotion. Why had my rescuer, my helper, deserted me? Why hadn't he been there these last few weeks? That's what I really needed to know. "What happened?"

He turned to face me fully, eyes searching mine, and slowly reached out, almost as if he were going to touch my face. His hand hung suspended in midair for an extended second, and I froze, breathless.

The moment passed, and his hand dropped to his side. He stared at the river for a moment. I dared not speak, for fear of startling him away. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were empty.

"You died."

My gut clenched. _I died_.

Yes, I did.

Venemous tears gathered in my own eyes, but of course did not fall. He cringed at the emotion in my face.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." He leaped away, transforming midair, and flew away from me. I sank to the ground.

I died.


	9. Walk to the Water

A/N: A couple things:

1) I always thought the idea that vampires couldn't "change" was utter BS. Actually there are a lot of things in canon that are utter BS. A lot of these things make the feminist part of my brain cringe. One of them is how Rosalie lets the women in her life down. She's easily one of the most complex, most interesting characters, imho, and she has such potential for strength. I wish she was treated better in the novels. I wish she fought for other women. So, she's gonna fight for other women in this work. It's absolutely something she would do.

2) This has been posted without editing. Thanks to vodka. I hope you enjoy, anyway ;)

Stay safe. Wishing you well.

* * *

Rosalie found me like that, after a time. I didn't know how long had passed; I was numb.

"Mia."

The sound of my name falling from her lips brought me back to the present. I crouched on the muddy forest floor, only yards away from the creek. Around me, the sounds of the forest echoed loud in my perfect ears.

I hated it.

I refused to look at Rosalie. I didn't want her to see how empty I was. "Go away, Rosalie."

She halted.

"No."

Surprise touched me, enough to drag my attention from the dirt beneath my fingertips and toward her angelic face. Whatever she saw in my expression made Rosalie's lips thin.

"What do you want?" I asked, tone emotionless.

"Come home," she said.

"Home?" I asked, laughing. "What home? I can't go home."

Rosalie didn't say anything. A long moment of silence passed.

"I can't go home," I finally repeated.

"No, you can't." Rosalie, my reliable fountain of truth.

I looked up at her. "Why."

She knew exactly what I was asking. Her shoulders slumped.

"I don't know."

"Try," I insisted, growing angry.

She hesitated. "You… you were as good as dead."

"I am dead."

She gave me a look. "You would have died. No more thoughts, no more life, no more choice. It wasn't your fault, but there you lay, bleeding on the pavement." Her eyes turned haunted. "It was unjust."

"And making me like this was better?" I demanded.

"Yes." There was no uncertainty in her voice. "Yes."

I scoffed. "The hell you know."

Within seconds she was in front of me, gripping my throat. Instinct rose and I grappled with her, bringing her down to the ground. Despite my newborn strength, she had the advantage of years and experience, and quickly flipped me over, twisting my arm behind my back. If I moved, she would tear my arm clean off.

"I know _very well_," she hissed in my ear. Her voice turned softer. "I know you're unhappy like this." She paused. "If you want, I can end your pain."

Shock made me freeze in my attempts to unseat her from my back. She could _what?_

Rosalie took advantage of my stillness. "That was always the intention. Give you the choice. We hoped you would warm up to us. Choose life. But you can choose death if you want. I will give it to you."

I thought back to the past weeks. Was that truly my choice? Life as it was? Living in a house of strangers? Growing to enjoy their company, as empty as it all felt? Or to die. Go on to my home above, where I knew I belonged.

Still, some part of me didn't want to let go. I went limp in Rosalie's arms. She released her choke hold, instead, supporting my body in her arms. I leaned into her, suddenly feeling like weeping.

"I'm dead, Rosalie," I sobbed into her shoulder.

"No, you _aren't._" I turned my gaze to her face. Her expression, blurry from beyond the venomous tears gathering in my eyes, was one of certainty. "You have thought. You are present. You live, you laugh, you feel. Do these things not make you feel alive?"

My breath caught in my throat as her words sunk in.

"You are as alive as I am. And I fought very hard to be here. Our bodies might not change, but we still grow," Rosalie said. "It took me years, but here I am. And here you are."

She held me until my sobs stopped, and waited until long after.

Finally, I raised my head. "I'm ready to go home now," I said.

* * *

Christmas was well and truly ruined, I thought with regret. I hadn't meant to disrupt their family time, but I had. The others wouldn't let me blame myself, naturally. They felt bad for not telling me about Seth. I didn't mind that part so much. In some ways, it felt like it didn't affect me. It was Seth's problem, not mine.

I still gave them their presents. They each received a letter from me, wrapped in silver ribbon "borrowed" from Alice's stash, a letter of gratefulness for their hospitality and friendship. It all felt a bit moot at this point. The words, while sincerely meant at the time, felt a bit meaningless in the depth of despair that I felt.

I tried to move forward. I spent most of my days with Rosalie. We didn't talk. We just simply existed together. She was my rock. She showed me what it was to be alive, even if the very practice of it felt mechanical. She gave me things to focus on. I helped her in her garage, learned about cars. I became very good at the work. This gear moved that gear, which moved that part.

Esme pitied me with every glance. I could hardly look at her. Jasper and Edward shared continual looks. Carlisle tried to talk with me the night I came back. Eventually, when he couldn't reach me, he threw himself into his work. Bella stuck around, always finding little things to do for me. I couldn't find it in myself to offer her more than a quiet 'thanks.' Alice stared at me most days. When she wasn't trying to pick me apart, her eyes were glazed over. Part of me wondered if she were searching my future, or the future of her family.

Emmett was the worst. We had developed such a rapport since the beginning that every emotionless word I offered him seemed to tear a little bit into him. He never stopped inviting me to join him playing video games, though I rebuffed him at every turn. He tried a few times to start a spar, but I always shrugged him off and retreated to my room. I hated that he wouldn't give up. Couldn't he see that it wasn't worth it? That I wasn't worth it? I could sense the desperation in him, and it tore me apart. I was doing this to him, but I couldn't stop. Day after day, I shut him out.

It was on one of these days that it happened.

I wandered listlessly down to the living room. It was sunny outside; the noon sun stood high in the late January sky.

"…baby, please come home. We love you. We miss you. We can work through anything you're going through."

I froze on the bottom step.

"…Jackson was last seen leaving her apartment complex, wearing a dark grey hoodie and jeans. Officials do not suspect foul play. If you have any information—"

The tv shut off. Emmet looked back at me over the back of the couch, guilt twisting his features. A detached part of me hated the look of it on his face. He didn't deserve to look that way.

"Mia—" he began.

All I could hear was my mother's voice. _"Mia, baby, please come home,"_ it called to me.

I squeezed my eyes shut in pain, then darted out the front door.

"Mia!" Emmett called after me.

"Shh… let her go," Rosalie said. That detached part of me was glad she was with him.

I ran. I fell to my knees.

Only seconds had passed, but as I looked up, I discovered my feet had led me to the same place Seth had left me on Christmas Eve. It was as different now as it could be; the sun shone brightly above, its light diffracting on my skin like it was glitter. The river sparkled similarly, and my eyes traced the path of salmon winding their way upstream. Now that I was still, birdsong once again filled the air, no longer disturbed by the rush of a predator through their home woods. The deciduous trees were bare of leaves, but the evergreens stood tall and true, as they ever did.

I wandered toward the stream, until my bare toes touched the edge of the water. There, I stilled, eyes closed, letting the wind caress my bare arms and face, my short brown hair dancing across my lips.

I felt like Atlas, the weight of the world on his shoulders. My mother's voice had been fuzzy. My human memories were already fading. But now that I had heard it on the TV, I couldn't forget it. I would never forget the sound of her voice, crying out to me across the radio waves.

_Mia, baby, come home._

"…Mia?"

I started. _Seth? _Despite my vampiric senses, I hadn't noticed him coming up on me. Now that I was paying attention, his telltale heartbeat stuttered out a greeting.

I frowned. It was fluttering a bit faster than it should have been. I looked over my shoulder, eyes finally open, studying his approach.

He was even more beautiful in the light of the sun than he had been that evening. His dark eyes studied mine carefully, cautiously – like one might look at a growling guard dog. The twist of his lips told me he wasn't entirely pleased to find whatever it is he saw there.

"Seth?" I asked, almost not really believing my eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He ran a hand through his closely cropped black hair. "Looking for you, actually."

I scoffed, then turned away, eyes closing once more as I tried to reach the semi-peaceful state I'd held a moment previously. "What could you possibly have to say to me? You've already said enough."

I heard a sigh. "I… I came to apologize."

In my shock, my eyes flew open again, focusing on the forest on the other side of the river. I didn't face him again. I didn't want him to see me in my weakness.

"What could you possibly have to apologize for?"

He heaved a sigh. "I'm so sorry for what I said that- that night. What happened to me isn't your fault. It wasn't fair to lay that at your feet."

My head bowed as I processed his words. Unbidden, the grief rose in me again. "It wasn't unfair either."

Silence. Then: "…what do you mean?" Seth was confused.

I wasn't. "I am only capable of destruction. It's only fitting that I destroyed your life as soon as I woke up."

Seth surged forward. I whipped around, finally facing him, crouched in instinctual defense. He froze. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I relaxed back into a standing position, my expression crumpling.

"As if you needed any more proof," I muttered, pained. I sank to my knees on the riverbank, looking away from him once more.

"Mia –" He had no words. Neither did I.

Which was why I was shocked when he stepped closer and settled next to me. I looked at him in confusion. He locked eyes with me.

"You're wrong." He said.

I wanted to scoff, but something about his gaze drew me in. His eyes held only warmth, even if his expression was pained.

"You're not only capable of destruction," he said.

Now I really scoffed. "What do you know about it?" I asked bitterly.

"More than you might realize," he said. He looked away from me, out toward the forest and river. "I was there for Bella's transformation. I was there to defend her daughter. I know your kind like the back of my hand. And there is so much more out there than what you see right now."

I cast him another look of disbelief, but a seed of doubt had been planted. I quickly glanced away. I didn't respond.

"Listen. I wasn't the one who lost everything, even their own body. But I know there's more to life than what you think there is."

"That's a nice thought," I said.

"Listen." He turned to face me, settling his legs into a cross-legged position. He wasn't going anywhere, that much was clear. "I don't know why any of this happened to you. I don't know why it happened to me either. Maybe there isn't a why. Maybe it's just that the world sucks, and sometimes awful stuff happens. At the end of the day, it's what you make of it that matters." He glanced back across the river, watching the wind stir the trees like I did. "It'll work out, that much I know."

I tried not to listen to him, but his words planted themselves deep in my heart, where they wouldn't easily be uprooted. A part of me rejected them as nonsense, at best meaningless untruths said solely to comfort. But another part of me, as small as it might be, heard the conviction in his words as truth.

I didn't say anything. He didn't say anything more. We stayed like that for a long while. Eventually, he stood to leave. He reached out, tentative, then surged the rest of the way to place a burning hot hand on my shoulder. I was once again struck by the feeling of his comforting hand on my body and looked up to meet his chocolate brown gaze. His lips twitched upward in a warm smile. "We'll be okay, you and I," he said. "Trust me." He jogged away, sending glances over his shoulder. I didn't move, and watched his exit until he disappeared under the shadow of the forest.

I turned back to the river in front of me, watching the water flow by. It passed in eddies and streamed past obstacles of dead tree branches and mossy boulders. Where it couldn't pass over the object, the water moved around it. It was constant. It moved. It was alive.

I turned my way back toward home. In seconds, I was at the steps of the front porch. No one stood outside to wait for me this time. But I didn't need them to.

I moved.

I took in a breath, then stepped up the stairs and inside the house. Emmett was where I left him last, head bowed with his elbows on his knees and head hanging. Rosalie sat next to him, arm around his shoulders, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

I paused, drinking in the scene. Here was the destruction I caused. But there was something else I could do too. Seth's words rang in my head. This was not all there was.

I zoomed forward, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. Emmett looked up at me in confusion, then slowly burgeoning hope. I pressed a button on the remote, opening the drawer of Xbox controllers. My soul remained heavy, but there was something – something _else_ – pushing it out of the darkness into the light.

I grabbed two controllers. "Emmett, catch." I tossed one at his head.


End file.
